Vida. Risa. Amor.

So I just took down half of the Christmas decorations, and I'll admit I have mixed feelings about how "empty" my home feels when it all gets tucked away.  I did leave the tree up, (though the ornaments are off), and the garland above the TV with the white lights wrapped around it because I can't imagine celebrating New Years with my kids without a little sparkle in the background.  I love my little tree in the kitchen, and I don't think I want to put it away at all...the red bows are off and I wrapped a beaded snowflake garland wrapped around it....all ready for January.

I also decided this was the week to say good-bye to my "grape-themed" kitchen.  Sometimes I don't "see things" until I just see them.  The fake grape-vine arrangements above my cabinets were literally caked in dust and a few random items up there were embarrassingly dated.  I really don't think my kitchen has ever known another theme.  When it comes to decorating, I'm a big fan of using what you have, and trying to "finish" a room all in one day makes things feel staged & cold...it takes time to build a personality in a home.  I also have found that a "one color" theme doesn't work for me either; I like variety, and I'm finally giving myself permission to just go with that.  So now, with a little arranging, some cheap deals at Big Lots, everything just looks clean, sparkly, & fresh.  (The best improvement was the stainless steel garbage can....I can finally feel we are moving up in the world.)

This week brought Arizona some snow and I love that I can see some dusted on top of the mountains nearby.  I'm trying to bring myself to have a positive outlook on to the new year for 2011, but I feel that if January was a day of the week, it would be a Monday.  Back to school, back to routine; cold, gray skies.  Holidays over.  Also:  time to lose the chub.  ugh.

But what I do like about January is that it feels like a new start.  Though the holidays this year had some great family moments, I will sadly admit there's been a bunch of garbage going on in my marriage.  Nothing unfixable...just a bunch of junk that should go.  We have been together for 14 years, 7 years in Illinois, and 7 here in Arizona.  I've heard it said in marriage that your spouse is the one person you love the most, and is also the one person you hate most.  Hate is a strong word for me, but it's not too far from the truth.  I vowed to live the rest of my life with this man, and so it will go better for us if we were better at loving each other instead.  So in the spirit of making new years resolutions, it is my hope that I would keep these words at the top of my mind and heart and marriage all year long:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. 

January is a new start.  A reset button. 
A cleaned-out kitchen:  sparkly and fresh.

My facebook statement of the day:  "Kate Stamm Palacios is so excited all of you are enjoying your Christmas parties...but feel free to invite me next time!...Just kidding.  Kind of."

At first I felt pretty witty with this statement, but after 5 minutes I'm starting to feel like that was a lame thing to say.  But seriously...one bad feature of facebook is that you can see 5 statements from people you know and you realize you haven't been invited to their get together.  I felt like a 10 year old not invited to the "cool kid's" party when I went to my home page this morning. Seriously.  Well that was my start to this day.

Oh well.  I cranked out 4 miles instead and decided to get over it.

Today's only the first day of break and the kids have watched Despicable Me, and have entertained themselves for hours with the cousins in the backyard.  I love listening to them play.  I think they are secret agents right now.

And for the most part we're pretty organized with presents and it's nice to just have lazy little afternoons like this and not feel rushed.  I have a lot on my "To Don't" list for this break.

I won't write out another boring list, but I will say that my #1 thing I won't be doing, is stressing. 

I think I see some smores and fires in tonight's future....and another movie.

I have a friend that forwarded this to me recently and it really touched and convicted me. 

I am The Mother.
I have come to a frightening conclusion.
I am the decisive element in the home.
It is my approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make my families life miserable or joyous.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis wil be
escalated or de-escalated....
and a person humanized or dehumanized.

With the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, errands, games & practice schedules, and the day-to-day busyness of life, I notice my moods can go up and down with my energy levels. 

"Tis the season to be jolly" isn't always a reality, but it can definately be a choice.  I want my kids to remember that our home was a safe place to "just be"...and that Mom wasn't always in a bad mood.

My life feels busy, but I love my kids, and want to make sure they know I like them too.

So I finally finished my Christmas cards this week.  When I saw that it was December 6th and realized that task hadn't even crossed my mind, I sort of panicked and forced myself make the dreaded stop to a Target photo machine.  For some reason the "choosing" of the card stresses me out and makes me break out in a sweat...(First of all, because I'm picky about how I want my cards to look, and 2nd, because there's always someone 2 1/2 feet behind you staring at the back of your head hoping you'll hurry up)... ugh.  And then there's only about 20 card options to choose from, the downloading of THE family picture, the zooming, the editing, and all the minutes wasted on how to creatively rephrase the typical "Wishing you all a Merry Christmas", from the blah, blah, blahs...

In years past, I would just print off a picture and made sure to include a "family newsletter".  I think I even printed off our family pictures on my printer one year.  On regular paper.  And my face looked pink.  I know because I have one of them in an ornament from 2000.  Anyway, since it was before my blogging days, I can remember spending hours trying to make each line rhyme and make our lives sound as fascinating as possible.   I imagined that I was putting a little smile on everyone's face that I sent our cards to when they read that " we love the Arizona sun", and "miss you all, each and every one"... 

I am cringing just thinking about it.  It's almost as bad as when I thought it was cool to sponge splotches of white on the kitchen cabinets I painted pink in my basement in 1997.  And flower patterned stencils on top of that.  Really.  What was I thinking??

I like newsletters, (just not the 3 page kind).  I even like reading a few sentences...(handwritten is a bonus).  And I'll even be happy with just a family picture.  But please...oh please...one of my biggest "pet-peeves" is opening a store bought card with just "Merry Christmas, Love, so-and-so".  Thanks for the thought, but for some reason that just doesn't seem meaningful to me.  I like to know what's new with people I haven't heard from in a while, and I especially love to see pictures.   And even though facebook and blogs make it so much easier to stay connected and updated on what's happening with friends, I still appreciate the printed out picture to tape up to my fridge!

(On a huge side note, I'd like to point out that my oldest daughter decided that if we someday have a pet we are to name him "Peeve" since I am very famous for having Pet peeves)...I shall blog about that someday perhaps...

So anyways, I re-analyzed my pile of cards this year.  I usually send out about 40, and usually recieve less than 20.  I also didn't realize stamps are over 40 cents now.  The thrifty nerd that I am, I decided to hand deliver a "few" of the ones to my neighbors and families I see on a regular basis anyway.  I am now stressing if that was tacky or not.  Oh well...I saved all of $5. 

Now I'm wondering if I should go back around and back them all cookies.  I need to figure out how to erase the "neighbor who is too cheap for stamps status". 

Note to self:  just buy the stamps.

Well then.  Here's us the photo I chose for the official "Palacios Family 2010 Christmas Card".  I should have spent a couple extra minutes adjusting the text on the cards before I printed since it almost looks like  it says "Vishing you all a Merry Christmas".  Nice.  It has a bit of German ring to it....right above the "Feliz Navidad 2010". 

Atleast I think I got the picture right...thanks to my awesome sister who took our family's photo's this year.  (Kreatid.com!!)  She knows how to make us all look good even at an abandoned dairy farm.

And here's the mini rhyme I didn't glue to the back of the cards this year:

When I was little I used to have a huge fear of tornados and volcanos.  I was convinced that the neighborhood was going to one day drown in hot piles of firey-lava or get swept away in a twister.  And, it just so happened that on my 10th birthday our home had a close call with a severe thunderstorm and my family had to take cover in our laundry room while a giant tree was knocked down in the street nearby.  I can remember clutching my knees for dear life and shivering in fear while hoping the storm sirens would stop as the hail and wind pounded our house.  Waiting out that storm was probably one of the scariest moments of my life.

But I'll admit I have a part of me that is still scared to death about things that are out of my control.  And one thing that scares me more than tornado's and volcano's is watching any of my kids struggle to breathe.

Tonight I am spending the night in a children's hospital with Aydan, my 7 year old, as we wait out a few rounds of breathing treatments for his asthma that flared up in the middle of the night yesterday.  This isn't our first experience watching him wheeze, cough, and clench his chest muscles so hard to draw air...and though I'm familiar with the drill of necessary steroids and medications that help to open up his lungs, it worries me when he still struggles to breathe.  What's new this time is that he was actually admitted for an overnight stay here at the hospital, but I can't complain too much since this is a brand new facility and he has his own room with an adjustable bed and one pullout for me, a bathroom/shower, internet access, and movies.  He definately is liking video games in bed.

Of course I wish I could just click my ruby slippers and whisk us both away from here...because there really is "just no place like home"...but it's usually just a big waiting game with asthma.  This time I hope and pray God calms both the storm and his child...but for now we just have to wait.

I'm watching him sleep.  and breathe.  He has the longest most adorable eyelashes.  I love that he still loves to sleep with his little bunny...(that he was given on an Easter Sunday in a hospital 4 years ago when we found out he had a broken leg). 

He's such a good patient.  I just heard a nurse say he is way too cute.
...get better soon, my sweet boy. 
Love you forever.

So I know I've been slacking a bit on my little tiny piece of the blog world...and I have to admit it's partially due to the fact that I have been a little intimidated to write.  (I also apologize that this is a little longer than usual but I evidently had a lot brewing in my mind tonight).  Blogs can be so many different things for people these days, and since I have never been good at drawing "attention" to myself I find myself analyzing and critiquing every word I write.  Every time I start a new post I try to remember that this blog is mostly about my family's memories or just quirky little moments to look back on and get a laugh from later.  It's my hope that what sounds stressful now, will be hilarious tommorrow, and I hope the words I write are carefully expressed with both honesty and humor.

It's the week of Thanksgiving, and I can also admit that part of my attention has been getting sucked into the "Pre-Christmas-sales-chaos", and with 4 kids to shop for, it's definately in our benefit to compare prices and check out the deals.   I'd like to be able to say that we are going to make a better effort this season to simply spend less, but it's kind of hard not to get sucked in.  Both my girls like the idea of waking me up at 2 a.m. to go shopping on black friday not because they really want to buy anything,  but they just like the excitement of it all...and my boys even read and circle the pictures in the target ads to tell us what they think they'd like from Santa.  But I've been thinking, (probably too much), that Christmas for my family really shouldn't be about overspending in the crowded malls and turn gift-giving into a source of stress, so this year it's my hope to try and focus less on presents and more on giving our presence.  (Of course Santa can still leave a few gifts)...but what I think makes the holidays most memorable is to spend it with the ones you love...and my family is so very precious to me.

And so we sometimes don't take time to say it, but here's what I am thankful for this year...

Tommorrow is also our 14th anniversary and I love my husband so much.  I know I probably make him as mad as he makes me some weeks, but we are each others best friends and he's my favorite person to be with.  I met him at age 18, 18 years ago, so I've known him half my life....and he's definately my better half.  So tommorrow with preschool, work, and soccer schedules to work around, we're happy enough to just get out and enjoy "la hora feliz" together and have dinner alone...I am thankful for the simple things.

I'm thankful for my daughters who borrow my clothes and make me laugh and cry and try harder, and for my boys who smooch and hug me 100 times a day and tell me they love me....and eat my hot dog or chicken nuggets dinners I make them on a more than regular basis.

I'm thankful for the girls in my family:  my sisters, Mom, neices, Aunts, and sister-in-laws....they make me feel accepted, liked and thought about.  Pedicures and desserts are the best enjoyed with them.
And the guys too:  My Dad, Grandpa, brother, nephews, and brother-in-laws, I think I somehow amuse them...not sure why, but they're fun to go to movies with.

My friends...near and far.  I love not feeling alone on this journey called motherhood, and I'm actually thankful for facebook that keeps us connected better...it's fun to read posts from them about the funny things their kids do or how boring laundry is.  I love that the friends I've known the longest are still my closest friends too.

And I am thankful for my two favorite drinks:  Chai Tea, and Diet Cherry Coke.  My days wouldn't be the same without them. 

And then most of all, I am thankful for God's love for me.  I know I don't deserve it, and some days I don't understand it, but without Him, this life I'm living would feel pretty empty.

So I finished another half marathon today and even though I'm experiencing the expected soreness and toe and knee aches, I'm actually feeling pretty good.  What started out as a fun "idea" to do with a group of mom's, turned into a real accomplishment, and I was glad to be a part it.  And support effort for a cure.

What I loved best about this "race" was being surrounded by a bunch of Mom's and women, and seeing so many varieties of pink apparel, from tutu's, head-bands, knee-high socks, shoes, to tank tops.  My favorite sign of the day I read at mile #8 got me a little choked up:  "Run like a Mother"....because, let's face it, as Mom's we sure do a lot of various forms of running around.  I spent my entire last week/month running each of my kids to several different locations, and though I don't mind that aspect of my life, it was nice to just spend a day with a bunch of fun Mom's.  One Mom in our group is basically the "glue" that kept us together, and she's my good friend Lainie whom I have known since our 7 year old boys were in preschool together.  She has a gift about bringing people together and knew how to keep us all organized from matching our tank tops to packet pick up to the finish line.  She also brought enough snacks at the beginning of the race to feed all of us and a few extra's around us...and wasn't shy about passing out her chocolate "energy" balls to random runners. 

After a few races "under my belt", I know my body's limits and I knew if I didn't try to run the first 8 miles before my knee and toes cramped up then I'd be walking most of the way.  And though I didn't run the entire time with the group and we all ended up splitting off into different groups, we all seemed to find each other again at the finish line.  Today wasn't about reaching a certain time...just having a bunch of laughs together and to finish.

I'm always so happy to find my husband showing his support for me in the crowd when I'm finished and he brought my biggest supporter Aydan today too, (who shares my fascination with collecting "trophies" and admired my flower shaped medal). 

But my favorite part of the day was the drive home with my feet hanging out of my husbands window, when he squeezed my hand and said, "I'm proud of you, and that you set such a good example to our family of keeping healthy, and always finishing what you start." 

That was better than any pink ribboned medal in my book.

My first child...first teeth...first steps....first ear piercing.  First halloween costume, first Christmas.   First plane ride, first vacation.  First emergency room visit.  First bike ride...first goal...first pair of glasses...contacts...braces...cell phone.  First high schooler...first boyfriend...first breakup. 

First homecoming dance. 
That was today...she left to go just 20 minutes ago.

She had been second guessing her decision to not go along with her friends to the dance, and was trying to convince herself that she thought she'd rather stay home tonight.  We actually bought her "first dress" a month ago when we went shopping together, but we ended up returning what she found since she changed her mind about going.  Tonight she was expecting to style all her friends hair for them, but instead, one of her friends surprised her with a homecoming dress and told her she needed to go with them too.  Josie was so surprised and her friend was so sweet to do that for her.  Times have changed and I guess it's cool for girls to go together in groups with or without dates.  Freshman even.

I wish I could say that I was the sweet little doting mother, but the black shoes I suggested evidently made her want to vomit, my jewelry is dated, and she'd rather gouge her eyes out than have help with her hair.  Pinning hair up is so "4th grade", covering up a 6 inch shaving scar with make-up is ridiculous, and wearing a black sweater is out of the question.  There are just so many things I know I need to learn.  I did mention that I didn't have her pretty little ears pierced at 4 months for no reason and when the earrings went on I was "allowed" to hand over some money and granted permission to take one picture.  Just one.

She has her ideas of how she wants things to go.  I'm learning what it means to back off and just observe.  I get it, but I don't think it says anywhere that I have to admit I'm always going to like it.

And I'm literally watching my girl grow up before my eyes.

Here's a brief "status update" on the Palacios home this Friday night:  the girls are out at a high school football game, my boys are watching Dr. Doofenshmirtz rap with Perry the Platapus on Phineus and Pherb, Chemo is hopefully wrapping up his 12 hour shift at work, and I am kicking back after scooping out 4 pumpkins.  With ice-cream.  Life is good.

I do this every year.  I can't not carve pumpkins, and I can't not save the seeds.  We never end up eating all the salted seeds I roast, but I do it anyway because it makes me feel semi Martha/Crockerish...(in other words, both resourceful & festive).  We do pumpkin carving in two steps:  scoop night and carve night.  I just like to get the scraping of the insides of the pumpkins out of the way so the next day the kids can just carve away without getting pumpkin slime all over themselves and the floor.  Plus knives and boys don't mix...and the stench of pumpkin innards makes my girls gag.  So at our house, scooping out pumpkins over the years has become "Mom's job".  I don't mind.

So we're set for a fun weekend of football and softball, end of season parties and Halloween festivities.  If I'm not up to my elbows in pumpkins, then I'm up to my eyelashes in halloween treats.  My contribution to the world will always be box mix cupcakes and rice-krispies....I seem to not fail in these two party desserts.  I did burn some cupcakes last night though.  shhh...don't tell.  It's my oven's fault anyway.

I realize it's often a rare occasion where my whole family has been home altogether, but we all seem to be enjoying our lives for the most part.  I'm sort of hoping the pumpkin carving will bring us together tommorrow night though....that and maybe some smores around our firepit.  On Sunday the kids are looking forward to trick-or-treating around the neighborhood, and so from youngest to oldest, this year we have a pirate, (captain Jack Sparrow), a cowboy, a derby girl, (going by the name of Smashley Simpson), and Thomas the Train.  After hours of searching my closet for a costume, my highschool daughter finally decided to just be Thomas.  She's too old to trick or treat though....I've cut them off at 13. 

As my girls like to say, "it's all good in the hood", and for the most part it's a real family friendly atmosphere here on Halloween night.  So I give Arizona an A+ for fun on Halloween...(just don't forget to disguise the adult beverages). ;)

My son Aydan just came down the stairs after I had tucked him in because he said he wanted to give me an extra hug.  He whispered, "x-o-x-o-x-o".  Funny how sometimes God knows exactly what we need and sends it through to us to our kids.  Hugs from him are so precious.

Tonight we found out our air conditioner system in our attic is leaking water and forming a big puddle in the middle of the hallway, so we spent the last hours before bedtime trying to figure out how to fix it.  Fiberglass really should be outlawed.  Add to that a tired Mom and Dad and a spazzy 4 year old and this experience can feel ten times more frustrating.  Bed time tuck-ins were the fast versions tonight.

After that I decided to try and unwind and spend some time catching up on my friends and family's blogs, and since my own brain is lacking a decent train of thought, I've decided I like what other's have to say tonight better:

"Life usually sucks more often than we'd like, but it's important to make an effort to find the good and the joy in the middle of those times that's going to help you get through." 
...I probably added too many words to this quote of hers, but my sister suggested that to me yesterday as we were surounded by a bunch of light-saber fighting boys at her house for her daughter's princess birthday party.  She has an amazing talent for doing more than the average Mom can take on....and doing it well.  I don't know anyone who knows how to make a prettier pink cupcake either.

I also caught up on my friend's "Living Life" blog and am always amazed at her positive outlook on life despite the tough trials she's been through this past year(s).  I tend to think of her around this season since we ran the Chicago Marathon together 2 years ago and the second week in October is the anniversary of that day.  That was a big life moment for me, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have run it with....(we've been friends for almost 30 years).  She's a wonderful friend and mother and not only has the coolest family friendly craft ideas, but she shares the same passion I do in running.  I really liked what she wrote recently in her blog:  "Run the race God has set before you with endurance..."(Hebrews 12:1).  "This is the run of my life....the good, the bad, and the roads I've yet to travel....and I'm learning to trust God all the way."

So this is me right now:  I'm usually the last to bed, and the first one up for a jog every other morning.  I love that time on the road before the day starts... and I need it too.  (Endorphins are a good thing for a Mom to keep stocked up on. Well that, and chocolate).

I'm in the "marathon" of life right now...and some seasons I'm going to have to run like a mother to keep up.

...and discover the "fun" in the "run".  ;)

Well another Friday night has arrived.  I don't really care that I spent most of my day doing housework and yardwork; my week kept me too busy to keep up with it so it feels great to be sitting in a clean house right now.  We have 4, maybe 5 games total to go to in the next 2 days, so it feels good to get ahead.  I win.  And I'd also like to add that my mesquite tree is once again even-steven with it's branches.  I win again.

My girls are out with their friends and my boys are engrossed in their 50th viewing of Transformers...(that I occasionally get distracted from because I actually kind of like that movie too).  I'm also texting on my new cell phone back and forth with Josie who is at her high-school's football game with friends, and with Lanie who is at a movie with her friends.  I really had no idea the fun and ease it is to communicate through texts...there's no tone of voice to have to deal with, or noise to have to shout over, and it's really quick.  My text-bashing days are officially over.  And sending pictures!....shopping for two picky daughters has never been easier.

Today is also the beginning of my kids fall break from school.  In years past, we have taken the week for a vacation, but I'm actually kind of glad we didn't have anything planned so we can just stay home.  The weekends are going to be just as busy with soccer tournaments, football, and now softball, but  I can honestly say there's no other place I'd rather be on the weekends than watching my kids play. 


These kind of days aren't planned, or happen often, but when they do, they bring a little smile to my heart.

I did another new thing tonight...not a big deal thing, really, but I don't think I have ever lay down on my back on my driveway at night before.  I find it's fun to be random once in a while.  I even baked a pie yesterday.  It must be October.

But it felt good to just listen to the trees swaying in the breeze....the raindrops on my face....the thunder...the lightning clouds...the sidewalk warming my back...the quiet.  I realized I haven't had much of that lately.  It's true what they say, "7 days without rest makes one weak".  (cheesy, but true).

So I soaked up my brief moment of silence as long as I could while trying to ignore the sounds of my boys jumping off the couches inside.  I couldn't figure out what bothered me more:  that I couldn't figure out how to put words to the thoughts floating around my head, or that I might not actually be able to keep up with the busyness of life right now.  I reread my previous blog and bored myself again with this past week's crazy schedule.  I guess I said "roof" twice in the same sentence too.

But I've come to the simple conclusion that I don't think I need to feel like I have to figure out everything right now.  It's Saturday anyway. 

My Dad has always been good for some words of wisdom for me.  A couple of things he sometimes tells me is to "Keep the main thing, mainly the main thing.", and "just do one thing at a time....you can worry about the rest later".  So, my main thing is making sure I'm being the right kind of Mom to each of my kids, and wife to my husband every day.  Sounds simple written down...and I'll admit it's not always easy all the time. 

But one thing I really should do right now is get both Rylan and the toothpaste out of the bathroom sink...and worry about this blog later...

You know when you have to sit down in the shower it's been a long weekend.  It wasn't a bad weekend at all actually, but I'll admit I'm a little exhausted....and nervous about keeping up with the rest of this week.  Right now I'm just telling myself to just take one day at a time.  (So this post was written mostly for myself to remember to take the time to soak up those slow-sitting-in-the-air-conditioning-days in July before September swings around)...

Friday:  Cousins slept over!  (I just love them.)  The boys entertained themselves for hours with Star Wars light sabers, Wii, and a new DSI.   I spent part of the evening discussing Halloween costumes over bowls of ice cream with my neice.  She has decided to be a lovely peacock and now I just can't wait to see how her Mom designs the costume.  For my costume, she suggested Lolly from candyland, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, a doctor, or (my favorite),  a witch.  A good witch though.  She's convinced I'd make an excellent witch.  She has no idea of course...but I think her Mom knows.   ;)

Saturday:  Made sure to get Chemo up at 6:45 a.m. to take Josie and a couple teammates for the 2 hour drive to Tucson for a 10 a.m. game.  Made cinnamon rolls for the kids.  Went back to bed then got up to get Aydan ready for his 10 a.m. football game.  They lost. :(  Little Caesars rocks for a quick lunch.  Cleaned up the house.  Read a little.  My boys worked out with me to my "firm-fanny-lifter" workout.  Hilarious.  Hair cuts for boys.  Leftovers for dinner.  Mowed the lawn.  Cleaned up cowboy stuff in the living room...and got Josie to clean up the T.P from the trees her "friends" left in the front yard.  Watched Robin Hood again once the kids went to bed.  Chemo came home from work at midnight.  Love him.

Sunday:  Killed ants in kitchen.  Gross.  9 a.m. church....back at 11:30 for the girls.  Inhaled lunch and picked up 2 teammates at 12:15 for a 2 p.m. game.  Packed tons of ice-water and spray bottles and dragged pop up "tent", umbrella, chair, and cooler to the field in 105 degrees...(ride home a little stinkier on the way back).  6:30 p.m drop off girls to Superchick concert.  Groceries.  Laundry.  Coupons.  Shower.  Sleep.  ooops...back to pick girls up at 9:30.  Made girls clean their rooms before bed.  Remembered it's my sister's birthday.  Love her.

Monday:  7:30 wakeup for school.  8:15 drop kids off.  Wakeup Rylan.  8:45 preschool drop off.  Scheduled appointments.  No idea what to blog so blogged this blog.  Dreamt of new blog templates.  Stared at new pictures on facebook.  Texted Colorado sister on my new phone.  Love her too.  Jogged 3 miles on the treadmill.  Still wondering why that felt hard.  Laundry.  Looked for lost camera.  11:15 picked up Rylan in his dinosaur mask he made.  Stood on roof of my van to get last traces of toilet paper of my roof.  Made Chili.  2:00 boys to dentist.  5-7 Lanie to softball....and need to bring tons of ice water. Heat warning. Again.  7:30-9 Josie to soccer.  Check other kids homework.

Tuesday:  Run outside before the sun rises.  Same morning schedule as before.  Return library movies and books.  Chemo has the day off...Yay!  Lanie has student council meeting.  Aydan 5-6:15 football.  Josie 7:30-9 soccer.  Family dinner possible? Watch a movie with Chemo when the kids go to bed. ?  maybe.

Wednesday:  Half day for kids at school.  Take neighbor to airport.  Firm workout.  3:40 girls to dentist.  Lanie to softball.  Josie to small groups.  Me to my Revelation bible study.

Thursday:  Get up and run before the sun shines in my face.  Chemo's day off again...yay!  Field trip with Rylan's preschool to the Riparian.  Aydan to football.  Josie get's booster shot.  Family dinner before Josie goes to soccer...we should try to make this important.  Catch up on Grey's anatomy....this is really important.  Kind of.

Friday:  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. 
I'm assuming I made it.  I plan to spend most of the day putting finishing touches of my fall decorations around the house for a fun evening with friends for a Heritage Makers demonstration I'm hosting for my super cool Mom.  Can't wait.  Hoping to eventually find more time to put together my 2010 digital scrapbook, calendar, swatchbook for the football coaches, and a personal cookbook since my recipe organization skills are a disaster.

Breathe...
Because I'm going to have to do it all over again next week...which is another reason why I just love the song "Marchin On" by One Republic.  Check it out on my playlist:

We broke a record this month....our electricity bill came to $450.  Thank you August for triple heat temperatures...and Wii, computers, T.V. and curling irons.  Sigh.  Saving $$ this time of year is more challenging than ever.  Double sigh.  Preschool.Sports.Braces.  Triple sigh...

So "finding a deal" has become my middle name and now that I have 7 1/2 hours of free time/3 mornings a week, I've been able to use that time to find some amazing deals.

It's great when certain grocery stores accept all competitor coupons and quadruple coupons.  I have managed to save an average of 65% on groceries each time and don't remember the last time I actually had to pay for toothpaste.  I cringe when people in front of me buy a dozen things that they could have cut coupons for out of the Sunday paper to save $1 off each item.  Sure it takes a little time to read the ads and cut the coupons, but it's not that hard.

Target's my favorite this week.  I wasn't on the hunt for new bedding, but if I was, I could have redecorated each of my kids beds for only $7.50 each, thanks to college clearance stuff.  I had to pull myself away...there was a King size comforter only $25 on clearance from $100!  I found backpacks for next year for only $3 each.  Their end racks are famous for clearance hair products and since my girls go through conditioner like water around here I was able to stock up on a bunch for mere dollars, thanks to more coupons.  Target is also discontinuing all of their home/gardens by the end of September so everything out there is also 75% off.  I could have bought a lovely fountain for my backyard for only $75 originally $500, but decided to just go with the set of 3 huge pots for only $5.  I did buy a few shirts on the clearance racks for my girls for only $2.50...and shoes for less than $5.  Gotta love it.  And when Target is ready to clearance out toys, man, they really drop the price.  I found a Toy Story 3 Woody toy that came with a cool cowboy belt for only $3, originally $15...(You can never have too many bribes available when you need a certain 4 year old to behave during errands!)

Ross is our second favorite.  I say "our", because my husband actually likes to go here.  It's a great place to find good shoes.  He found shoes for work on sale for $25, originally $100, and I found Josie some Adidas soccer cleats for only $20, originally $80.  They also have inexpensive Barca shirts for our entire family here!  (Barca is the name of Josie's soccer team, and so it is rare to ever find "fan-wear" of any kind of this team anywhere!)  Rylan loves the toy section of course...he found some Batman Boxing gloves that he absolutely couldn't depart with.  We had to talk him out of the musical guitar.  He still calls Ross "that place with the guitar".

And last, but not least, (because it's secretly my favorite), is Kohls.  There are dozens of 80% off clearance racks:  shoes, bedding, earrings, clothes, underwear, swimsuits....it's amazing.  I've been able to stock up on next years clothes for the boys for a fraction of their original prices.  And with 15% coupons you can use on everything in the store, you just can't beat that.

Life has it's "price-tag" some seasons, and I love when I can save money on things that my family needs.  Because what Mom doesn't "need" a new $2 pair of earrings "once in a while"?

...just call me "Katie the deal finding lady." 

Or not.

I picked up my daughter at her high school's first football game the other night, and wow, was that a little flashback moment...only every other kid was wearing skinny jeans instead of rolling them up like we used to back then.  We had poofier hair then too, and nowadays the girls really like to wear their hair straight.  The hot season here seems like it's almost on it's way out, and there's that cozy feeling of "community" when you're at a high school football game.  There's the bright lights, the band playing in the bleachers, the cheerleaders, the players, kids grouped in their little "click's" wandering around everywhere, (besides paying attention to the game)....and then there was my daughter... 

I watched her for a minute before I let her see me.  She makes me smile.  I was having the same moment as the Dad had in the movie Father of the Bride when he remembers his daughter standing there in her sweet little 5 year old braids.  Now my girl is in high-school.  She's growing up so fast.  That night she was wearing a new Jags t-shirt, (for jaguars), that she earned for helping out at the game, and was smiling at everyone around her.  I can tell she's very well liked.  She looked great.  I'm also still trying to get used to her having a boyfriend.  She was walking next to him with their hands locked together.  He plays basketball and seems nice.  It's hard to try and figure out how to be a "cool Mom" while keeping an inconspicuous eye on what's going on...and that sometimes means having to check texts.  I know, I know, I'm the only Mom on the planet that does this, and she doesn't always like it, but she does show me.  It's our attempt at trying to have a "no secrets home".  I tell her I check because I care. 

I never thought this far ahead for what it would be like to have Josie be in high school but I'll admit I like it a ton more than Jr. high.  I still have flashbacks where I see her in braids with scuffs on her knees from playing on her bike all day...and when she used to line her American Girl dolls up in rows.

And she's really become an amazing girl.  I just love her.  Here's a few fun notes she wrote for me today:  (she was trying to earn her cell phone back...and drew me a picture of what she looks like when she has to do the dishes....and then I also made her give me a list of meals that would be "acceptable" for her since she's not a fan of what's in our pantry lately...She makes me laugh.

So I'm the oldest of 4 siblings...after me comes Jen, then Bets, then Josh.  The coolest part of being the oldest is that, besides my own parents, I've known all of them the longest of anyone in their lives.  I win.  (he-he).

So Jen has been in my life for about 33 years now.  I know I haven't always been the nicest big sister, but for some reason she has always looked up to me.  Well, maybe not always, but for as long as I've known her, she pretty much does anything I ever ask her to do...

When I had first gotten my drivers liscence, we had a long distance to drive for a family vacation, so she took the wheel for me when I put it on cruise control so I could rest...and I think she even sat in the drivers seat for me.  She would let me style her hair and wouldn't cry too hard when I burned her with a curling iron or cut her bangs too short.  When I pushed Betsy too hard on a skinny skateboard down a hill and scaped up her legs, I begged Jen to take the blame...and she did.  Once we tricked a neighbor together into thinking there was an ice-cream truck coming around with our Mom's bell and hid in our front tree to watch.  We built forts in our trees together with huge pieces of foam and jump-ropes and used Betsy to test them out.  She'd always "let" me sit in the front and ate every bite of my crunchy macaroni and cheese dinners.  She didn't get mad at me when I got us lost in search for the Chicago Beach together in my smurf truck....and she tolerated my music.

I also love that she is famous for being random and unpredictable.  When she was little, she scared all of us after we searched for hours only to find her napping by the window upstairs.  Of all of us, she's the one with the most scrapes and bumps, and at one of my Dad's softball games she cut her lip so bad she had to have stitches.  I was fascinated when she turned the mixers on her own hand once...but I cried for her when she had to have eye surgery...and we probably ran over 3 pairs of her glasses with the lawn mower. And if she's snoring, she won't care if you shake her 15 times from the bottom of the triple bunk beds to make her stop...(this is where the names Ke-we, Je-we, & Bessy were invented by the way).

She's always been there...through birthdays, school, church, sports, vacations, college, weddings, and babies.  She's quick to forgive, loves to laugh loud, is generously optimistic, and is always ready to listen.

So now that we're in our 30's, I have found that our roles have kind of taken a little switch.  Instead, I find myself looking up more and more to her.  She amazes me with her wisdom and advice and takes me as I am.  She knows me better than I know myself sometimes...even when I can't put my thoughts into words. 

She created this lovely blog for me and is the only one who knows how to change my boring songs on my playlist.  (hint, hint.) 


The other day she offered to style up my hair and jazz me up in makeup, big earrings and cowboy boots for a super fun photoshoot that, so far, has been the highlight of my month.

She's an amazing friend and photographer.  She's forever my Je-we.  Check her out at Kreatid.com

I just wrote this and now I don't know why.  This is more of an expanded version of my facebook status today.  Oh well.

Do you ever wonder if you're secretly being video taped on one of those reality shows where they try and find out how you would react in a bizarre situation?  Like just before they reveal to you it's all a prank and you were actually surrounded by actors, they say, "smile, you're on candid camera!"...and you get to breathe that big sigh of relief and everything becomes quite laughable again...

Well I wish this morning was just a "candid camera" moment.  I probably shouldn't mention this all happened at church this morning, but maybe that's what makes it even more wierd for me.  (On a side note:  I love my church, and know there's no such thing as a "perfect church", but I seem to have noticed that there have been a lot of interesting people hanging out in the back row)...and yes, I realize all back rows anywhere are notorious for "questionable behavior"... 

So I sit in the back row for the main reason that I don't like to freeze under the air conditioning vents in the middle and have found that has been the only location that keeps me comfortable temperature-wise.  I realize that's a little ironic considering it's usually 110 degrees outside and cold air might feel wonderful to most people, but after you've lived in Arizona a while, it basically feels as if you're walking from an oven to a freezer all day long.

After about 15 minutes into the service, two teenage girls squeezed past me, in a hurry for some reason, and sat themselves in the two chairs beside me.  They both had their cell phones in their laps for the whole service and I was forced to listen to the constant tic, tic, tic, tic, tic of their unending text messaging....or the random slurpy sips they'd take of their coffee drinks that they'd keep dropping back into their cupholders over and over again.  And it wasn't like they tried to put their cups back in the holders nicely either...it was always a clunky thud noise when they'd drop them.  At one point I heard one of them tearing something and saw her ripping a cupholder apart...(that thing that wraps around the cup so you don't burn your hand off)...because that's real fun to rip.  In church.  Two chairs next to these girls was a high school couple that decided to remove the armrest out of the way so they could sit together in a permanent embrace for the entire service.  I gave them a serious staredown.  The girl was like "what?" and I just shook my head and rolled my eyes.  Where were these kids parents??

As all this was going on, a lady in front of me decided to dig up a candy in the depths of her purse that was wrapped in an award winning tightest-plastic-wrapped-candy-of-all times and opened it as slowly as she possibly could.  In front of her was another couple massaging each other's necks.   The college guy in front of me was going to town on his hangnails.  A few seats next to him was a Mom with her newborn and her 2 year old that got up and down SIX, not even kidding, times.  My heart went into my throat when I thought she was going to trip down the stairs with her newborn in her arms.  And her 2 year old didn't have the slightest clue as to how to whisper either and liked climbing stairs.  There's like 20 steps up to where they were sitting.  I counted.

I really was trying to listen...but being at church today just kind of felt like I was on a page of a "Where's Waldo" book.  Only maybe we could rename it:  "Where's the Wierdo's". 

But Jesus loves all of us wierdos.  I try to remember that.  (Cringe).

So my daughters tease me that if we ever have a pet someday we should name him "Peeve" since I have so many pet peeves in life.  But I seriously don't think sitting in back rows at church should leave me feeling so "peeved".  The closing worship song was pretty appropriate:  "I'll fly away".  

Next week maybe I should just bring my winter coat and try to sit in the front row....or maybe I'll try and find a quiet place in the desert instead.

In just a couple of months, it will mark our 7th year living here in Arizona.  Getting to know the neighbors hasn't always been easy since most of us usually just pull into our garages and then shut the door to get back into our air conditioned homes, and the idea of hanging out in our hot front gravel yards doesn't exactly appeal to many people either.  So though it's a bit challenging to get to know the people sharing the same street, I wouldn't say that it is entirely impossible.

I have to admit that I have been dying to do something for a really long time.  My "new" next door neighbors have been living here for almost a year now, and I could probably count on one hand the amount of times the Mom and I have talked to each other.  All that I know so far is that they have a trampoline with no fence, 2 dogs, 4 kids, the Mom drops her kids off at school about the same time I do, (and has cute pedicured feet), and the Dad comes home in scrubs and is gone every once in a while.  I also know that they have never once put any thought into keeping up with their beautiful mesquite tree in their front yard....that I have been dying to be allowed to cut back the branches.

So I stood in my own yard for about 10 minutes before I worked up the nerve to go over and ask the Mom if she'd let me do it.  Here's what I think I said, "So, um, I wondered if I could ask you something, and I really hope you won't think I'm wierd for this,....but, um, I'm basically trapped at home with 4 kids fighting over Mario Carts and computer time for the rest of the day, and I was looking for a chance to get out of the house, and since I really love to be outside and do yardwork, I wondered if you would let me fix up your front yard for you."  I was just waiting for her to look at me like I was an idiot and shut the door in my face, but instead she said, "That is so nice that you offered and I would just kiss you if you did that because I was just going to wait to make my husband do that when he got back from his trip."

I was so psyched!  I had something to do...that mattered, (kind of)....and I didn't have to feel worried about crossing the invisible little line that separates our gravel rocks from theirs.  I was once again in my leaf blowing zen for the rest of the afternoon.  I managed to fill 3 garbage bins with all the funky little mesquite pods that were piled up all over their yard, along with one dead bird, and tons of tree and shrub branches that needed some serious trimming.  I kind of worried that our H.O.A. must have gotten pretty laid back on their rules for them to have let their yard get to that point!

So maybe now when she sees me, she might just think I'm the crazy next door neighbor who cleaned her yard for her...but hey, atleast now I'm able to actually see my kids again when they're walking down the street or riding their bikes on the sidewalk. 

Jesus taught that we should love our neighbors as ourselves...and I'll admit that I don't know that I put that into actual practice as often as I should.  I don't think God would have laid that on my heart for so long if I wasn't supposed to have done that...and maybe it was for more for myself than it was for my neighbor. 

I know I'm "wired" a little differently than most...and I hope God keeps showing me ways to plug myself into the areas of life that He wants me to be connected to.  And I just love yardwork.

I have made several attempts at putting together homemade chore charts with fancy grids and star stickers, but it usually seems like after about the second week we all seem to forget about it, and keeping up with the chore chart seems like a chore itself.  It's busy around here during the school week, but I know I need to slow down and take the time to teach my kids a little responsibility around the house.  Chemo warns me that if I always clean up after all of them, they might really get too used to it and not actually learn how to do some things for themselves.  (This can be challenging for a clean freak perfectionist to learn to do).

I read an article one time and learned sometimes it's better to write things down to your kids so you don't have to let your tone of voice or emotions cause stress...so I found myself writing down a list for my highschool daughter of things I'd like her to "work on".  After I looked at the list, I realized some of my requests were a little bizarre and I had a little tiny moment where I could probably imagine what it's like for her to have to live with a Mom like me:

Josie's Jobs:
1.  Delete 177 of your e-mails.  Seriously.
2.  Get the chunks of wax you use for your braces out of the carpet in your room.
3.  Put away all your doodly-do's and tissue wads off your dresser.
4.  Clean out the sink and shower....and feel free to put away your 2 curling irons, brush, hairspray, and makeup.
5.  Clean out your soccer bag.  Do you need all those empty Powerade and water bottles in there?
6.  Ask Mom BEFORE borrowing her clothes out of her closet and then changing your mind and tossing them on your floor instead. 
7.  Your brother Rylan found your high school ID in the car and your money and he thinks it's his now...(maybe you should re-think about getting a wallet or a purse soon).

So I got to thinking, why stop there?  I have 3 other kids...why not make a  list for each of them as well!

Lanie's Jobs:
1.  You had 4 water bottles in your bed.  Why?
2.  T-shirts fit better folded in drawers...and do you really need 5 Twilight shirts?
3.  Can you put your scissors and markers away...Rylan colored on his face today.
4.  Set your alarm clock for school in the morning...sometimes I oversleep too.
5.  Feel free to get rid of a few of the unmatched socks of your 50 different pairs...and don't make fun of me for always saying "feel free".
6.  Put your lunch in your backpack right away in the morning so I don't have to drive back to the school and drop it off to you.
7.  If I had a dollar for every bobby pin I pick up off the floor, I think I'd be a millionaire by now...

Aydan's Jobs:
1.  Put away your Wii remotes and remember to recharge them.
2.  Homework before Club Penguin, and never before 7 a.m. or after 8 p.m. on school days
3.  Stop drinking milk out of the carton.
4.  Feel free to dump the sand out of your shoes before you bring them inside.
5.  When you make forts, put everything back the way it was.
6.  There is a room in the house where you can actually put your dirty laundry.
7.  Rinse the sink after you brush your teeth.  Toothpaste spit in the sink is gross.

Rylan's Jobs:
1.  If you want to play Mario Carts you have to clean up your toys first.
2.  Let me wash your ni-ni once in a while.
3.  Your empty milk sippy cups go in the sink not the floor.
4.  Color on paper not yourself.
5.  When you wrestle with your big brother, let him win once in a while, you make him feel bad sometimes.
6.  Ask me before you decide to eat half the container of Oreo's and smear them on the couch.
7.  Remember to brush your teeth, because I might forget to tell you.

Not everyone is a fan of lists, but for some reason, they help me organize my issues.  I kind of realize I have a lot of issues and if I were to make a list for myself it would be something like this:

Mom's Jobs:
1.  Laugh & smile more.  Take your daughters advice and take that "chill pill".
2.  Admit when you're tired, but be approachable and be there for them.
3.  "Feel free" to love your family and hug and say I love you every day.
4.  Make-out with my husband in front of the kids.  They need to see us show love to each other, and he needs to forget about his hard day at work...and so do you. ;)
5.  Balance hard work with time for relaxing. 
6.  Be an example of selflessness.  Complaining is contagious.
7.  Pray more.  Remember to stop thinking I'm supposed to do this all on my own.

I have a frame in my kitchen with this quote in it:  "A home is walls touched by children, carpets worn by friends, and a hearth warmed with love".  ...not so sure what a hearth is but it all seems to make sense to me!


(and yes, I am making sure my kids read this particular post).

I'm not even going to sugar-coat it....today was probably the loneliest day of the year for me.  Besides chatting with the Mom's at my last-first-day-of-preschool-drop-off this morning, I don't think I had a single conversation with another adult today.  I managed to bumble around a grocery store, look at a bunch of crap at Goodwill and then wander around the obvious preschool Mom hangout:  Target.  If anything, I wasn't going to go home to an empty house.  I was supposed to be enjoying my "freedom", but instead I felt a little bored that I didn't really have anything cool to do.

Right now my husband is over a thousand miles away, my daughters are ignoring and avoiding me, and my two boys cannot seem to hear me no matter how many times or how loud I say things...then they both just think it's funny to just laugh at me if I yell.  That's why I decided to just send them outside to the trampoline...maybe a quiet house isn't so bad after all. 

Facebook is becoming a huge source of insecurity for me as well.  Why is it that I care if anyone comments on my status?  And why did I check it 6 times today?

The excessive heat warning today didn't keep me from going outside.  I needed to find something else productive to do besides cook or clean or organize, so I decided to do some yardwork for a few hours....atleast that felt good.  My neighbors probably think I'm a freak, but there is something about a leaf blower that is extremely calming for me.  That, and country music in the background.

It's probably a big waste of energy to let myself feel this frustrated.  Some days, it just feels exhausting to take care of everyone else.  Are Mom's allowed to admit that?...

Maybe only when they're venting through their blog.

I'll probably delete this post tommorrow.

grr.

I guess I took it for granted of how secure it feels to have my man around.  When he's away, I seem to analyze every noise I hear from outside and triple check the locks before going to bed.  Just the other night he was snoring in the couch next to me while I was checking my e-mail, but it didn't bother me because it was comforting just to have him close.  I feel safe when he's home.  When he's gone, I am also reminded to be thankful that he provides for our family so well.  He works an average of 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and mostly on his feet.  He's allowed to snore....and he needs more rest.

Life seems to have taken him down a few bumpy roads and just yesterday my husband got the call that his sister, Nena passed away.  The doctors weren't exactly sure of the problem, but she had been sick on and off for a couple of years.  Probably we have visited his family in Mexico about 10 different times through our 14 years of marriage and I was fortunate enough to be able to get to know her before her health started to go.  Our daughter Lanie, was named after her Tia Nena, (which is another nickname for Elena).  She was like a second "mother" to Chemo in that she used to take care of him often when he was little and was the one to save a few of his baby pictures through the years.  She loved parties, dancing, and "oldies" music, cooked special meals just for us, and rocked and cuddled all of our kids when they were babies.  She also had a funny habit of  recommending eating an orange for every ailment like headaches or an upset stomach....for hiccups she would tell me to put a red string on my forehead...(?)   If she was uncomfortable she would rarely mention it, and she was always smiling even if we couldn't communicate.  She was very devoted to her church, neighbors, and family.  I remember she used to tease me that I was the "favorite" sister-in-law, and I'd always tell her that she was my favorite too.  She is.  She will be so missed by many.  In the few visits we have had, my kids and I have grown to love her and we'll all miss her kind and welcoming face.

Chemo will be in Mexico for her funeral and visiting with his family for a few days.  He's the youngest of 8 siblings and most of his family, including his Dad, live in Ciudad Hidalgo, Michoacan, Mexico:  (central Mexico)....(getting there basically involves 5 hours by plane, and 5 hours of driving).  It's been almost 3 years since we've all visited there together as a family, and though the circumstances of this visit for him are obviously not ideal,  I do hope somehow he'll have a good visit being with the rest of his family.  It's our hope to try and visit all together again for Christmas if we can.

One of life's toughest lessons is having to say good-bye.  My husband lost one of his sister this week, and I hope the time he's visiting there will ease his heartache.  Life can seem pretty short...and not much else really matters in life, but family.

Time seems to be flying on by, and it is already that first weekend after the first "week" of school, (though it was actually only a 3 day week since they started on Wednesday).  This year we have a freshman in high-school, a 6th grader, a 2nd grader, and a soon-to-be-in-preschooler.  On the first day of school I thought I'd do the usual "first day of school routine" with the rest of the parents and stay to watch the kids go off to class...but I was ever so politely, yet firmly, asked to leave since the principal decided she'd like to keep the playground a "safety zone" from day one.  Odd.  I really didn't quite know what that meant at first, (my brain was still adjusting to being up at 6:30 a.m.),  but I eventually figured out I needed to go.  First day's back to school are over-rated anyway.  And so I took my last side-kick back home with me to figure out what to do with ourselves.  I wasn't ready to come home to my too-quiet house...but then I remembered how much easier it is to clean a house without a bunch of kids actually in it.

Filling in gaps of time seems to still be this season's theme.  It is still 107 degrees, there's no real homework, and I'm noticing my kids are still doing the same things they did day in and day out before school started.  Wii.  Club Penguin.  Facebook.  TV.  And my sink forever still has dishes in it.

Ugh.  And so I digress....(I really don't have a clue what that word means, but my sister in law mentions it once in a while in her blog and I like how it sounds professional and sassy)....and so I'll digress a bit more...

So once again I am challenged with how else to spend our time on long hot days, and taking bored boys to the gym and pool is usually the only other real option.  By now I've got the drill memorized:  pack snacks, drinks, workout gear, suits, load up all 3 bags, purse, one diet cherry coke, one milk sippy cup and we all go on our merry way.  But after I pulled into the gym parking lot after the 20 minute drive it took us to get there, I looked in my rear-view mirror to see my 4 year old was totally zonked.  Out.  Asleep.  Not waking up.  I had a lot of stuff to carry and adding a heavy, hot 4 year old didn't sound so appealing....and I also didn't want to be one of those Moms that drops off their sleeping toddler in a noisy child care center just to get a lame workout in, so I turned the van around and took us back home.  Turns out that wasn't so great a decision.

A 4 year old boy who falls asleep clutching his goggles and wakes up finding out he's not going to get to swim will cry for 45 minutes on how mad he is at you for not taking him to the gym until his lips start quivering.  It was so sad it was funny....and it was so funny it was sad.  And my lips started quivering too....I really had nothing else I really wanted to do anyway so I caved and so I drove us all back.  Who knew I'd be spending more than an hour of my day driving in triple digit temperatures.  The truth is you simply cannot survive an Arizona summer with kids without access to a pool...and you really won't care how far you have to drive to get to it.

I love my kids.  Time management is just one of my "job descriptions", and so I plan most of my days around what my kids need and where they want or need to be.  Saturdays will soon be filled up with soccer, softball, and football games...and for now, we have a lot of free time.  Sometimes that feels like an open invitation for boredom, but I keep reminding myself that time with them now is a gift.

I think Gandalf was talking to Mom's as well as Frodo in the Fellowship of the Ring:  "All we need to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us."

I hope to always remember to make the most of my time with them...they're growing up so fast.  Too fast.