Vida. Risa. Amor.

I just wrote this and now I don't know why.  This is more of an expanded version of my facebook status today.  Oh well.

Do you ever wonder if you're secretly being video taped on one of those reality shows where they try and find out how you would react in a bizarre situation?  Like just before they reveal to you it's all a prank and you were actually surrounded by actors, they say, "smile, you're on candid camera!"...and you get to breathe that big sigh of relief and everything becomes quite laughable again...

Well I wish this morning was just a "candid camera" moment.  I probably shouldn't mention this all happened at church this morning, but maybe that's what makes it even more wierd for me.  (On a side note:  I love my church, and know there's no such thing as a "perfect church", but I seem to have noticed that there have been a lot of interesting people hanging out in the back row)...and yes, I realize all back rows anywhere are notorious for "questionable behavior"... 

So I sit in the back row for the main reason that I don't like to freeze under the air conditioning vents in the middle and have found that has been the only location that keeps me comfortable temperature-wise.  I realize that's a little ironic considering it's usually 110 degrees outside and cold air might feel wonderful to most people, but after you've lived in Arizona a while, it basically feels as if you're walking from an oven to a freezer all day long.

After about 15 minutes into the service, two teenage girls squeezed past me, in a hurry for some reason, and sat themselves in the two chairs beside me.  They both had their cell phones in their laps for the whole service and I was forced to listen to the constant tic, tic, tic, tic, tic of their unending text messaging....or the random slurpy sips they'd take of their coffee drinks that they'd keep dropping back into their cupholders over and over again.  And it wasn't like they tried to put their cups back in the holders nicely either...it was always a clunky thud noise when they'd drop them.  At one point I heard one of them tearing something and saw her ripping a cupholder apart...(that thing that wraps around the cup so you don't burn your hand off)...because that's real fun to rip.  In church.  Two chairs next to these girls was a high school couple that decided to remove the armrest out of the way so they could sit together in a permanent embrace for the entire service.  I gave them a serious staredown.  The girl was like "what?" and I just shook my head and rolled my eyes.  Where were these kids parents??

As all this was going on, a lady in front of me decided to dig up a candy in the depths of her purse that was wrapped in an award winning tightest-plastic-wrapped-candy-of-all times and opened it as slowly as she possibly could.  In front of her was another couple massaging each other's necks.   The college guy in front of me was going to town on his hangnails.  A few seats next to him was a Mom with her newborn and her 2 year old that got up and down SIX, not even kidding, times.  My heart went into my throat when I thought she was going to trip down the stairs with her newborn in her arms.  And her 2 year old didn't have the slightest clue as to how to whisper either and liked climbing stairs.  There's like 20 steps up to where they were sitting.  I counted.

I really was trying to listen...but being at church today just kind of felt like I was on a page of a "Where's Waldo" book.  Only maybe we could rename it:  "Where's the Wierdo's". 

But Jesus loves all of us wierdos.  I try to remember that.  (Cringe).

So my daughters tease me that if we ever have a pet someday we should name him "Peeve" since I have so many pet peeves in life.  But I seriously don't think sitting in back rows at church should leave me feeling so "peeved".  The closing worship song was pretty appropriate:  "I'll fly away".  

Next week maybe I should just bring my winter coat and try to sit in the front row....or maybe I'll try and find a quiet place in the desert instead.