Vida. Risa. Amor.

Tape.  Every home needs some, and to this day I don't really understand why I can't seem to ever own a pack with the handy little jagged edge that helps rip off strips for you.  I can never seem to remember to grab a pack at the store, so I am forced to spend 10 minutes of my days searching for it's "invisible to the naked-eye" edge and make lame attempts to carefully peel it up evenly to make a smooth tear.  Never happens.  Ever. 

It's a boring story actually, but every time I find myself staring at my edgeless roll of tape, it seems to be the metaphor of my life.  My patience is lost, I wonder if it's best to give up, and the end seems nowhere in sight.

Maybe that's too deep to compare myself to a roll of tape, but it somehow made sense in my mind and I'm going "stick" with it...  (hehe).

I realize my family's activities this season sounds ridiculous to most people.  Soccer.  Football.  Club softball. Club soccer.  Highschool Varsity soccer.  Jr.High softball.  All in one week.  An average of 5-7 practices a week, and 3-4 games on Saturdays.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit it makes a Mom tired.  Proud.  But tired.

I don't always know if this was the lifestyle I imagined for our family.  It's just a season and I know the "end" of it is coming eventually.  My kids seem happy with what they're involved in, and we're happy to watch them.

So, just for now, I know I won't know who the biggest loser is, or the next dancing star, or what's really pinteresting.  Piles of socks will always be turned inside out in the laundry and grass and chunks of dirt will forever be ground into my van's carpet.  I have a "Little Caesar" to thank for feeding us so often too...

Guess I'll keep "rolling" with it all for now.

I hope I can remember that when it comes to
whatever is next for my kids futures,
that by God's grace,
...the possibilities are endless.

When it comes to cheering, I really don't consider myself "hard core".  And wow, there are definately a lot of those kind of parents out there.  I promised myself I will never shout: "Man up!" every two seconds like some football Dads do, or spit endless bags of sunflower seeds while shouting "Come on, you can do better than that!" like I've heard some softball parents do, or a be a "swear at the ref" kind of soccer fan.  Sheesh.  Like the kids don't already know when they made a mistake, and I'm sure they don't need their parents announcing their disappointments.  When it comes to game day, I don't ever expect perfection from my kids, but just that they were trying their best.  Winning isn't everything, but competitiveness and the drive to play a game well will always run in my blood....but the love for my kids comes before any of that.


Aydan has played several seasons on his Cardinal's football team, (he'd know the exact amount...I lost track), and still plays with most of his buddies from school.  Something "clicked" in his little brain this year, in that he learned as soon as that whistle blows, he charges for the flag.  (Like a bull, hence, the name, "El Toro"). I'm second guessing my plan of "bribing" him for a dollar a flag because I think we're up to $18 for just 3 games already.  I'm so proud of him.

It's Labor day today and I can honestly say I'm not sure what to do with this holiday.  I work part time during the week as a teacher's aide, (of a highschool nursing class), so I understand the concept of looking forward to a three day weekend a little more now.  I am usually incapable of taking a "day off" anyway so looking back on my three day weekend I did exactly what I usually like to do:  got a bunch of stuff done.  (I assumed I was supposed to labor anyway).

Lanie made a club softball team a week ago, so until she has games she has practices both on Friday night and Saturday mornings.  There was a lot of time spent in my lawnchair in that dusty dirt dugout with a watered down diet coke, so as soon as we got back home I decided to disappear in the front yard with my leaf blower.  I didn't seem to notice it was 110 again, and I am still under the impression my neighbors think I am insane...(well, atleast they can see I like to keep my yard clean).

Sunday was the only day this week where we had abso-freaking-lutely NADA on the calendar scheduled to do.  I should have done exactly that:  nothing...but as I have mentioned before, I have serious issues of pulling that kind of day off.  Instead, I had the genius plan that it might be fun to take myself and the kids up for a daytrip to Sedona.  With all our phones, DSI's, and the portable DVD player packed, we had pretty much everything to make the 2 1/2 hour drive pretty bearable.  What I didn't plan for was the extra hour the last 13 miles was going to take to actually arrive to Sedona, because it seemed that half of everyone in Phoenix had the same idea as we did.  I also didn't realize the temperatures were going to be the same 103 degrees as the valley area, and that I should have had cash instead of a credit card to park to go hiking.  The lot where we wanted to hike was full anyway, so our place in line was going to be farther back if I had to drive the 20 miles back to an ATM to get cash and come back, so we checked out the stores and bought Ikea meatball-sized scoops of icecream for $3 each instead. 

What made this trip worth it for my kids was when we stopped in the Los Abrigados Resort near Tlaquepaque where they played minigolf at the park with a creek behind it all to splash around in....(nice that it was free.)  What made the drive worth it for me was the smell of the leaves and listening to the sound of the running water at the creek while being shaded under the huge trees.  I love nature and hope my kids grow up loving it too.  As an extra bonus a little nature rock found it's mark on the windshield on the drive home.

Today, besides laundry and grocery shopping, I decided I wasn't quite finished with being outside so I conquered more yardwork.  I was in a mood to trim my backyard trees, so with country music blasting, and standing on the last rung of my extension ladder, I found a way to slice those wicked palm fronds off.  (By the way, those branches have no mercy on you if you accidently scrape your arm along the edge.)  I also realized my mesquite tree was looking pretty shabby and one power-saw tool later I had about 3 wrist thick heavy branches successfully sawed off.  I also got mesquite sawdust up my nose and in my eyes.  I sat in the kiddy pool for about an hour after that.  Yep, still not sure what my neighbors or my kids think of me some days.

I admit I like projects and yardwork, but I love more the bits and pieces in a weekend that allow me to catch up with my kids and just be around them.  Maybe the hope to create a memory in Sedona was more spent in the moments during the drive, and I loved that I had all 4 of them to myself.  I'll take as much of them as I can get.

This was the last unscheduled weekend before the games begin, and it's going to be interesting to see how we're going to juggle all four of them in sports this season....

Before I knew blogs existed, in my college days in the early 90's,  I used to write down memory filled and busy weeks in incomplete sentences.  I eventually threw those piles of memories away as I think some things back from those times might be better left unsaid. 

19 years later,  my brain occasionally doesn't seem to want to function in complete sentences, so this choppy sentence style is going to be given another chance.  Hopefully I might grab a memory or two of this very busy week, (season).  So here's what's been up:

Sophomore Jaguar
Jr. High Rattler
3rd grade and Kindergarden Bulldogs.

Job hunting.  Resume building.  Reference searching.
Website browsing, facebook stalking, email checking.

Softball tryouts: Friday, Tuesday, Saturday, Sunday:
Birth Certificate copies, 20 page tryout packets, fund raising.
Back to school signatures, school supplies, forms, forms, forms.
Homework helping, checking, signing.
Club meeting, soccer tryouts, football meeting.
Reservations, scrimmages, tournaments.

112 degrees.
Lightning storms.
5 minute rain shower.
Humidity = sweaty kids.

Coupon cutting, ad checking, saving 65%.
Fry's, Albertsons, CVS. Pantry organizing.
Dish loading, garbage dumping, bed making,
Laundry sorting, washing, drying, sorting, washing, drying, sorting.....

6:30 a.m. Drivers Ed.,
7:30 grumpy boys wakeup,
breakfasts, make lunches, tie shoes.
8:10 drop off.
8:12 clean, clean, vacuum, vacuum.
3:15 back home....hungry kids.

Fashion disasters, clothes donating, shopping.
Weight lifting, treadmill sprinting, ipod charging.
Spray painting, garage organizing, car cleaning.
Goodwill hunting, Target browsing, IKEA meatballs.

Ornament making.
Yes really.

Desk building, furniture rearranging, new laptop.
Checklists, messages, voicemail.
Blog writing, blog deleting, blog blech.

Grandma makes us food. 
She's Mrs. Incredible.
Grandpa helps with softball.
He's Mr. Incredible.

Texting, texting, texting,
texting, texting, texting,
texting, texting, sore hand.

Driving, driving, driving,
driving, driving, driving,
driving, driving, need gas.

Too tired to watch movies.
Too hot to be outside.
Too busy to slow down.

Too much for one week.

"Runaway Train"...never goin back.., (by Tom Petty), was the song that was playing in my shiny red car the day I drove away from home when I left for college.  The rain and my tears were both pouring out in buckets that gray day back in January of 1993, but I was determined that it was a road I needed to travel alone.  (Judson college was only a 28 minute drive away, but for an 18 year old that never left home, it felt like I was relocating to the other side of the country).  I do remember that my parents lovingly offered to help me get settled in, but I stubbornly refused because I was determined to face the biggest milestone of my life:  independence.

Before I transfered to Judson, I was taking courses at a community college to become an executive secretary...which I did very well at & enjoyed.  At the time, I misunderstood the importance of earning an actual education or degree & transferred from that community college to a 4 year private school in hopes to live "the college experience".  I was basically known at Judson as another "transfer student" until I made new friends after joining the girls softball team, (even though we didn't win a single game).  A better scholarship offer came the summer after Judson, and the savings was a no brainer, so I decided to transfer again to Liberty University in Virginia, (which was literally the other side of the country this time).  I completed one year and possibly 2 1/2 months when I realized my camping weekends were turning into camping weeks and that college wasn't really something I was committed to anymore.

To this day I am still a little confused as to what I hoped to accomplish with my "college" days.  I remember the day I flippantly walked away from what was most likely the best scholarship offer available.  I remember those camping days with friends as some of the most adventurous days of my life.  I remember heartbreak, being broke, Jimi Hendrix, ramen noodles, and my awesome blue truck.

I remember that leaving college brought me right back to my best friend....and we've been together ever since.

I am thinking back on those days a lot lately, mostly because as of August 10th, all 4 of my children will be in school full time.  (No, I will not be listening to any Tom Petty songs or anything that has to do with saying "goodbye" or "letting go").  One will be in highschool, one in jr. high, one in 3rd grade, and one more last-first-time-kindergardener.  (I have seriously stocked up on tissues).

So yeah, I have a lot of regrets of choices I have made in my past, but I also realize part of life is learning from those mistakes.  I did actually complete 2 & 1/4 years of college, though an actual Bachelors degree would come in handy about now...(I have thoughts to revisit that option soon).

My "resume" reads that I am always going to be on duty 24/7, but this is a new season where I realize I am mostly needed from 6:15am to 8:15am, and from 3:15pm to practices to bedtime and weekends. So yeah, that's still a lot of time that I'm "needed", but I realize that I have a huge 6 - 7 hour time gap from 8:16 am to 3:14 pm, Monday through Friday, that I seriously need to figure out what to do with myself.

I might take some of my friends advice and cut myself some slack and just go ahead and enjoy the freedom a little.  But I'm not sure I will be home as much during those hours, the silence might scare me...otherwise the radio will be blasting.

Milestones have a funny way of sneaking up...ready or not, and I needed to hear these words that I recently read from a friend's post on facebook today:

I had big plans this week.  I was going to cheerfully tackle all the things on my to-do list while being a patient, loving, and cool mom.  I was even going to make rice krispies in the shapes of stars with red-white-and blue sprinkles.  My home was going to be relaxing, yet fun, with a dash of who cares... 

And then it just got hot.  Scorching hot.  July is the month a couple of things equally rise out of control:  the outside temperatures...and my own temper.  When my Wii-crazed son wouldn't answer me after my 4th call for him to come sit down for lunch, I sort of lost it.

No matter how long we've lived in Arizona, (it's been 8 years for us now), for some reason it still surprises me when the temperatures reach triple digit proportions this time every year...as if I didn't remember this from last summer.  I would cry a river, though my tears would just evaporate.  Literally.

I'm not a native, but I have learned how to get us from our air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned van to an air-conditioned destination with military precision.  My van's AC unit is basically useless if the temperature outside is anything hotter than 103, and so I guess that means I have the next 3 months to figure out how to keep us all cool.  When I drive I lean forward so the sweat off my back doesn't soak my shirt and my cupholders are stocked with ponytail holders to keep my hair off my neck all summer.  I also keep a stash of large McDonalds cups that I refill before trips with ice-cubes that I balance on my lap.  (They also comes in handy to toss at whiny children).  I try to never leave the house without drinks for the kids, and since their cupholders don't get used much this season, (they better not dare leave crayons in them), my kids hold whatever they can to keep cool.

When we're on the road, and I see that I have to wait at an intersection that has a shady spot 20 feet away from the stop line, I will wait there until the light turns green.  Go ahead and honk, I'm not moving, because finding shade is like finding treasure.  A rockstar spot is now the space that offers shade, even if it means we are 300 feet away from where we have to walk to.  And in the case that the entire parking lot only offers one tree and only two of the branches are offering shade in the "Associate of the Month's spot, I'll still take whatever I can get.  (Those signs should be abbreviated anyway).  Because, what really matters the most, is that my van will obviously be 50 degrees cooler to come back to.  My car shades are almost ripped to shreds, but until they are replaced, they will continue their purpose in life...("cooler van=cooler Mom"...kind of goes along the lines of "happy wife=happy life").

Yesterday, I had a garage sale, painted the bathroom, and made a meal for a family, (and the kids).  Garage sales are awesome in Arizona:  they start at 6:30 and end at 9:30 and I usually always make more than $100.  What I realized about painting a bathroom is that it is mostly trimwork....little awkward angles, and tackling precise corners that require hovering your face below the toilet at an insane angle as to not paint the baseboard or touch the back of the toilet with your paint brush.  Pretty.  I really just wanted to take a roller to the wall and be done with it.  I was equally drenched in paint and sweat.  Surprisingly, the kids really knew not to let me hear them argue. 

I'll admit after a big day like yesterday I feel a little sluggish and tired.  So, today, we aren't going anywhere, and it's supposedly going to reach 118.  Pools feel like bathwater anyway in this heat and the farthest I want to drive is to the mailbox.  It's easy to tell it's July at our house when the main 4 are on:  Wii, TV, & Facebook, and the delicious smells coming from a crockpot.

I just heard the 5th fudgesicle wrapper being unwrapped downstairs...I better grab one before they're all gone. 

Cool Mom = Cool Home.  Less=More.

It's been awhile since I'd blogged.  School has ended, family vacation has come and gone, we've been t-p'd already, and summer has officially arrived with it's first 107 degree heat.  The kids & I are back in our gym routine, and it's been interesting since we now have 2 gyms we go to...(I just couldn't pass up $20 for 3 months at a gym where my "preschool-mom" crowd are all going this summer).  My kids prefer Lifetime Fitness, where there's an indoor playground of all playgrounds and a pool with waterslides to play in after.  But I like the other gym for the classes, since it's easier to endure thigh burning lunges, 5 minute ab ripping planks, and combat kicks with friends you can laugh & suffer through with together.  There's also something about going back to a gym that made me realize I wasn't in that great of shape I thought I was in....and so, I will be a "gym-rat-junkie" until I can master a 5 minute plank.  I just will.

Vacation was wonderful:  7 days in a row of the the beach and pool.  We also came home "rich" in sand dollars, and I have to admit I was getting a little greedy for them.  I have even hid them from my kids until I figure out a crafty way to display them.  They are "my precioussssssss"....

I do need to backtrack and mention that getting to our vacation destination...wasn't exactly pleasant.  I have a recurring nightmare actually, (not kidding), and it usually involves me at an airplane ticket counter searching and searching for my family's passports and they are no where to be found, and so we are somehow doomed to be stuck in an airport forever.  I never realized this was a prophecy of a similar reality someday to come.  It takes me a couple of days to pack for vacation, (I still pack for 4 out of 6 of us: me and the 3 dudes), and so I like to think through all that needs to be taken:  medicines, underwear, waterbottles, tweezers, foods for breakfast/ lunch/& dinners/snacks, and all the other obvious things to bring to a beach.  And so, when I asked the night before to my lovely husband if he could get his passport papers ready, I assumed he actually heard me.  (He did grunt some sort of reply).

After two hours into our trip to Mexico, the exit just as you enter Gila Bend, was when my husband and I actually had the conversation if his passport was packed or not.  He said he didn't.  I said are you kidding.  He said no.  I said no really, are you kidding.  He said no.  And I said awesome.  (No actually I said a lot more than that).  And so we turned around and headed back to the house to get the man's passport.  I had to explain to my crying 5 year old why we couldn't just get his Dad "another credit card", as he thought that's what we were going back for.  Josie's announcement of "it was all a simple misunderstanding", was the understatement of the week.  Year.  (I think she was secretly happy she had a few more hours left on her cell phone before we'd be out of range for a "whole week" once we crossed the border)....which she also drowned later that week in the ocean.  Tragic.

Making an 8 hour trip out of a 4 1/2 hour drive will definately go down in Palacios Family Vacation memories forever.  Oh yeah, and it will definately never happen again.  It's might be a while for us to be able to mention the word passport without thinking of it as a curse word.

I thought I'd cry.  Get choked up.  Sniffle.  Anything.  But nope, not a tear was shed today.

Except when I drove by a parked SUV with balloons and "Congratulations Grad!...Class of 2011" graffittied all over it.  I realized my daughter will be graduating high school in 3 years.  Three.  Class of 2014.

But back to Rylan.  Preschool Graduation:  2011. 
Highschool Graduation:  2023.

I woke up to his feet kicking my ribs this morning.  I thought we were done with this chapter in life, but evidently he still has bad dreams.  Rylan is adorable when he sleeps, and I cringe to have to wake him up for school because he wakes up like a bear.  There is much "growling", crying, and arguing over what is going to be worn to school.  Today he ordered me to call his teacher because he was convinced he was supposed to wear a graduation gown and cap.  You know what's grumpier than a baby bear?  His mama who hasn't had caffeine yet.  Or food.  grrrrr.

I'm supposed to say how cute my boy was in his graduation, (he was), and how memorable today was, (not really), and since I don't know how to cutesify this morning into words, I'm just going to tell it like it was for a paragraph.  Usually it's amusing to watch little kids perform their little songs, and though they are completely adorable to watch, (for 10 minutes),  Rylan looked a little spaced.  I tried to capture a hand clap, or a thumbs up, or a smile, but it was slim picking in his singing performances.  Tiny people chairs are uncomfortable to sit in...for an hour, and the two little one year old siblings running circles around the class during their song time, (one is standing next to him in this picture), made me want to tackle the parents for not controlling them.  I know I have very large issues, but that was something I seriously had to get off my chest.  That, and preschool rooms make me want to organize and clean something.


Sigh.  My baby just graduated from preschool today, and summer has finally arrived.  Our last first day of Kindergarten is only 3 months away, but the countdown to our beach vacation is only 9 days away.  I might cry about it tommorrow, but for now all I can think about is Destination:  Relaxation.

I liked this quote I heard recently:

What did I do today?  hmmm.....sometimes I actually draw a huge blank.  I don't always actually remember.   A few days ago I was asked the same question from the pedicure guy and I had the same "blanked out" moment.  I wonder how he would have responded if I had told him that I had spent the first part of the morning curling my daughters hair for her Greek costume, spent an hour clearing out Chemo's car "space" in the garage of  a bunch of garage sale junk because I decided I really didn't want to have a garage sale after all, went to see my daughter's 6th grade class "world fair" and her display of the country Greece, bought strawberries for my 5 year old that was begging to have a strawberry shake with his turkey sandwich for his lunch, cleaned out all our toilets, and then spent an hour on my firm fanny lifter cranking out squats and lunges.  Instead I just said, "oh well, not much," and went back to flipping through my stack of magazines.

"Not much".  What if my answer truly was, not much?  What would that look like?

Luke 15:10:  In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of angels of God over one sinner who repents.

After I was done praying with Aydan tonight, I got to tell him that angels were having a party singing in heaven just for him...because today, April 21, 2011, he decided to ask Jesus into his heart. 

Explaining the story of Easter and who God is in a way my kids can understand hasn't exactly been easy.  Just like I did, they have so many questions...Who is Jesus?  Who is God?  Why can't we see them?  Why is there a bad guy named Satan?  Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?  Are we going to die like Jesus?  So Jesus defeats the bad guy named Satan?  How?  What does it mean he wants to live in my heart?  If he's alive where is he?  How do we get to heaven....no really, how exactly?  Where is heaven?   Did God really make everything?  Does God really love me?  Why do we need to be saved?  What do we need to be saved from? 

I'll admit I don't know how to eloquently answer all these questions, and when I can't, I do my best to try to search for answers in God's word.  What I do hope, is that each of my kids will come to understand that God loves them more than their own mother could....that He would lay down his life on a cross for them...and that He Lives.  And that they would choose to believe in Him.

I am thankful to God for entrusting me with these children, and I hope I'm doing my best by them.  This month has thrown quite a few parenting challenges my way as usual, but I was thankful to be able to share that prayer with Aydan tonight.  (Another cool fact is that it was also his Papa Chemo's birthday tonight; Aydan's middle name is Anselmo who he is named after).

When Aydan was born into this world he arrived only 20 minutes after we getting to the hospital, January 7, 2003.  I literally crawled on the freezing sidewalk in front of the hospital from my Isuzu Trooper to the emergency room, until Chemo could find a wheelchair for me because I was in so much pain.  After they rushed us to the delivery room, the nurses begged me to try to wait for the doctor to arrive.  (The chance for an epidural was not an option, and so of course I was furious...especially since he was over 10 pounds!)  This boy was in a hurry to show up for some reason, but I truly felt God's presence with us that night, and out of some deep instinct I started praying the Lords prayer only minutes before he was born.

He is my first boy and he'll always have a special place in my heart.  He has such an excitement for life, a great sense of humor, and a tender little heart.  He's got a lot of little ideas brewing in his little 8 year old head, and I just hope I'll always have the energy to keep up with him....even if I have to crawl to keep up.

It's probably not a coincidence that I put Hasta La Vista on the back of his football jersey this season.

I've had one thing on my mind all day today, and now it's time I just face the facts:  It is just no longer a possiblity to "suck in", my arms continue to say hello after I'm all done waving, the capris I bought for myself last summer haven't shrunk, and "muffins" are not cute. 
At all.

My suspicions were confirmed a few weeks ago when I made an "appearance" on the scale in the ladies locker room at the gym last week.  Three pounds heavier than last summer.  What in the world.

Here's my week in a tiny microscopic nutshell:  I have run over 15 miles, hiked up a mountain for 3 hours, finished a Firm weight workout twice, moved seventy-five 10 pound bricks from eyelevel on a shelf in Home Depot...to the back of my van...to my parent's backyard....to help make a raised garden bed...which also required shoveling and  moving 10 wheelbarrels full of dirt.  (I seriously LOVE outdoor projects by the way, and secretly wish I was a professional landscaper).  Weeded my backyard and found time to make a mini brick patio in the front of my own house...(thanks to my bro for all the free bricks).  Still made dinners & dishes & laundry, still got the kids to practices & school & church groups, and yet STILL after all this physical activity, no pound has decided to melt off of my body.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit discouraged.  And tired.  Of course I am thankful my body can function and do amazing things, yet the reality is I'm not getting any younger. Or skinnier.  Why if I want to eat Peanut M&M's do they have to stick to me??  I don't like that losing weight usually requires to eat less and work out more.  Ugh.  It's downright exhausting, if not depressing.

And yet, that's what half of the Mom's I know, just know.  No Pain, No Gain.  When I saw a Mom pushing through the rain with her baby in her stroller just to get out and jog last week, I felt I could relate.  Been there.  We do just about anything to squeeze in time for our workouts.  We want to look good.  We want to be healthy.  And we'll jog in the rain if it helps us get there.

I like working out and I like to eat.  Let me rephrase, I like feeling healthy and strong, and I also like to enjoy food....(my favorite food to eat is the kind someone else makes for me).  So sometimes I workout so that I can eat.  And drink.  And it is quite possible that this is the scenario that is secretly backfiring on me, and at this point I pretty much know something needs to change.  So if that somehow requires portion control and giving up on chocolate and carbs for a while, then so be it.  Sigh.

In the movie Eat, Pray and Love, Julia Roberts went out and bought herself "big girl pants".  (Dumb movie anyway).  All I really want is to fit into the jeans I own now...maybe make them a little baggy on me if I'm being completely honest.

Bring on the early morning jogs again.

When I was a kid growing up in Illinois there used to be plenty of weeks, (months), of rainy, wet days that I'd basically have to figure out what to do for the afternoon.  One of my favorite things to do was cozy with a bunch of blankets on the couch and pop in my favorite video and eat a whole bowl of popcorn all by myself.  (It's a "Stamm" thing).

So today in Arizona we are facing an entire Saturday of rain.  Rain is always rare in the desert so we're supposed to enjoy every drop we get, but today it's actually cold enough that snow is sticking to the top of Superstition Mountains again.  Brrr.  I know I will be dreaming of days like this in July when it's 115...but for now, I'm just enjoying the coziness of being trapped inside the house with the kids today.  Since their games have been cancelled, we're going to fill up the whole day with couch lounging, movie watching, popcorn munching, and cookie baking.  (Quite the nice contrast to last Saturday that involved 6 games...in 90 degree temperatures).

When I found Swiss Family Robinson at the library, I had a little "flash from the past" moment, but I knew it would be a great movie to watch with my boys.  They seem to have a lot in common with the youngest boy in that family, Francis...always finding adventure in trouble....(too bad they didn't give him a better name though).  I wasn't sure if the movie was too dated or not, but the boys seemed to get completely mesmerized in the story.  Funny how I still remember most of the lines, and that cute little tiger they trapped in a pit in the ground to scare the pirates away.

Later on this weekend I'll probably find a romantic comedy to enjoy with Lanie, and stay up late with Josie to watch another action thriller...and the boys have been begging to watch Tron. Again.

So movies will probably always be a big part of my family's life, and it's just one way it brings us together once in ahile.  We had the surround system blasting so loud the Fed Ex guy ringing our doorbell couldn't be heard.

Rain, rain, you don't have to go away...
I'll jog off my popcorn and shakes tommorrow anyway.

"I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright.  It's a beautiful day,
and not a cloud in sight, and I guess I'm doing all right. 
Yeah, I guess I'm doin alright"...


"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy"...


"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this emptiness inside me might start healin, out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find my self.  If I come in I swear I'll leave, won't take nothing but a memory.  From the house that, built me"...


"She grew up, on the side of the road, where the church bells ring, and strong love grows.  She grew up good, she grew up slow,
like american honey"...


"Remember when, the sound of little feet, was a music,
we danced to week to week"...


"I went sky-divin, rocky mountin climbin, I went 2.7 seconds, on a bull named Boomanju, and I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin, I hope someday you get the chance, to live like you were dyin"...

There's just about a country song for every situation in life, and I just love it.  Not all of it, but most of it is so down to earth and it occasionally tugs on my little heartstrings.  My husband doesn't understand why it sometimes makes me cry, and since my kids mostly cannot stand it, one of my favorite times to listen to it is while doing yardwork.  (No one else seems to like to do yardwork at our house either). So today while I was covered in dirt up to my eyelashes from attacking dandelions and battling the leaks in the sprinkler system this afternoon, I heard the funniest song ever on the radio.  I mean ever.  I wish I knew the actual name of it, but the whole song was basically about the "joy" of being a Mom raising teenage daughters. 

Hi, that's me.

Being a mother of teenage girls is fun.  And frustrating.  Exhausting. Confusing. Hilarious. Emotional. Tough.  The exact opposite of boring. Shampoo depriving. Tweezer disappearing. Shirts on the flooring. Shoes "borrowing". Mood swinging. Plans every nighting. Chores arguing. Jokes making. Movie watching. Laughter bringing. Texting. Chocolate. Hairspray. Busy. Busy. Busy. Love it.  Really.

The song I heard today summed it up better than I just did...so once I find it I'll put it up on this blog.

And yeah, I really just wrote a post on country music & teenage daughters...but why not? 

I like both and they each have a way of making me laugh and cry in a 2 minute time span.

I am actually having quite a boring afternoon, but I'm kind of glad since the past two weeks have been quite a whirlwind.  Our newest discovery was actually a first for us: zero dollars in the checking account.  Zero.

So, needless to say, this was a serious wake up call and forced us, (me), to re-evaluate exactly where our dollars have been going...and where they need to stop going.

As I look around the community I know we're not the only ones in a "pinch", and though some haven't been so fortunate, I am pretty sure we'll come out of this alright.  Two words I am most thankful for this season:  tax returns. Two words I am slowly becoming more worried about:  gas prices. 

Surprisingly, finding ways to cut back on our spending hasn't been a burden, it has actually had the reverse effect and helped me to feel more free.  Free from consumerism, debt & the worry of feeling that we will never really have enough stuff....cute Target stuff.  I might need to wear some of the same clothes for a while, but that's a small "sacrifice", (if we'd even call it that), compared to a worse situation that keeps coming through the mail named "bill".  And luckily my girls and I have found ways to raid each other's closets, I mean, share each other's wardrobes.  And tweezers.  And hair conditioner.

I am also always reminded that even the poorest American is probably ten times better off than someone in a 3rd world country right now.  Our home is not under water or taken away by a tornado or tsunami or earthquake and I have never been more thankful for the desert we live in right now...the earth seems to be "groaning" more and more for it's return of it's Creator.  We really have all we need and more: a roof over our head, clothing, our health, employment, and a stocked freezer and pantry that I finally get the chance to feed my family out of for the next few weeks.  And even then, I'm pretty sure we still won't run out of Cheerios or scalloped potatos.  Or cherry coke zero.

Saving money was something I thought I was good at, and times have taken a turn for me to kick those skills into a higher gear...my debit card is also having a stay-cation of it's own as well this month, which has re-inspired to think more creatively of ways to cut corners.  I've even sewed patches on Rylan's ripped jeans, (patches made from another pair of ripped jeans...and then that pair was turned into shorts).  Thriftalicious.  (And he's not even five so he doesn't care yet...and plus, he's a boy.)

Yes times are taking a new turn, and in this whirlwind of change I have been busy figuring out new ways to save. 
I have returned $100 worth of un-needed clothing back to stores, scrounged up items to include in a garage sale, bought less expensive hair products, gave haircuts at home, found free items by matching coupons to ad deals, found free new DVD's at the library, drank more H20, carpooled, and mostly, just quite simply,
stayed home.

Perhaps in less than a few months I will find myself taking an even different path:  employment.  My "stay-at-home" hours might soon need to be cut back, and so I have found myself treating those hours a little more preciously.  My kids aren't so little anymore either, so that will make things go a little easier as well.  I am more than ok with going back to work, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I wasn't just a little nervous about it.

Right now I am surrounded by fifteen 6th grade girls.
Yes, fifteen.

I guess I'm not exactly surrounded...I've escaped upstairs and I can hear them all downstairs laughing up a storm about something.  I've done my duties of serving a 4 course "fiesta" dinner, lit the candles on the cake, organized the pinata "rules", and allowed the loud music to continue...so I figured at this point I really only need to make an appearance every 20 minutes or so.  I'm just hoping they aren't spraying silly string on each other or smearing hot pink frosting in each others faces anymore....or playing tag near my rose bushes. 

But it's all good.  6th grade girls are easily entertained, and my daughter Lanie has a fun group of friends.  It's been fun for me to just sit back and observe their silliness, wittiness, and laughter.  What fun it would be to be 12 again....not too little, and not in jr. high yet. 
Pigtails, braids, dresses, pink, princesses,
dressup, bows, dolls, dance classes.

Where did those times go?

They still dress up.  And when they do, they are always beautiful princesses.  I love my girls.  This is the one week I can't think of one without the other since their birthdays are literally 3 days apart, and it's been a long, but fun week of celebrations.

My visit with my friends in North Carolina was so chillax.  (I wanted to use this word I heard Lanie say to me today and I'm not sure I can quite pull it off)...but what I'm trying to say is that it was so nice to just chill.  And relax.

The best part of my trip wasn't just that I got to hang with my chica's...but it was also the perfect escape from any kind of plan, agenda, or schedule that comes with all the non-stop busyness of our hood...(the mother-hood).  ;)

A girls getaway was just what I needed....my soul just needed to be around a bunch of really good Mom's...Sweet.  Encouraging.  Godly.  Honest.  Twizzler-loving and Real.

Instead of a hotel, we all actually stayed in my friend's Mom's house....so it kind of felt like a flash back to our highschool sleepover days.  Her mom has a cheerful and welcoming spirit; she loves to laugh and smile when she's talking to you, and for years she has reminded me of Snow White.  Not only did she cook us some delicious white chicken chili, but one of the first things she said when we arrived was that she wanted us to be as comfortable as possible and to make ourselves at home.  She already had my day made when I saw their fridge stocked with Cherry Coke Zero!  And when we went to see where we'd be sleeping, she had put together a cute little "goody" basket in our room overflowing with valentine candy, granola bars, and snacks!!

And so I got to thinking, (I just can't help it), there were a lot of my friends Mom's that have influenced me over the years, in lots of different little ways.  Each Mom had their own style from their cooking, music, clothes, birthday parties, home decorating, hair-styles, cleaning, fashion, driving speed....

And I got to thinking some more....my kids have a lot of friends they bring over here and what will they remember me for?  My pot roast and grilled cheese sandwiches?

It's humbling to know there are other people's kids observing me.  I just hope that when they think back on me someday that they would remember me  from the days when I was in a good mood, and that I wasn't permanently attached to my vacuum cleaner.

I hope they would remember that my door was always open for them, and that they could just come over and chillax.

With all the busyness that January brought this month, I haven't had much time to think about the fact that in just two days I will be on a plane headed for North Carolina to see my three favorite friends!  I have known these girls since training bras, tretorn shoes, aqua-net, and braces....hard to believe that was about 25 years ago!  Growing up together in a small town in the midwest, we've been through church camps, sleep-overs, tee-pee wars, boy crushes, drives to Carlos Sweeneys for chips and salsa in "the flea", rap music, and tubing with snakes until sunset down a neighborhood creek.  (Ofcourse I can't forget the most important....each other's closets!)

So even though now we're all hundreds of miles away from each other in different parts of the country, and all in our "mid" thirties with kids of our own now, (15 altogether between the 4 of us!)...when we are together we are still the same group that just loves to laugh our heads off and just be girls.


I can't imagine what life would life would be like without just one good friend, and I'm realizing it's rare to keep friends this long...even three of them! 

...So I think it's safe to say by now they're my friends for life.

I have a hole in the pocket of my favorite pair of jeans....and it happens to be the pocket I always like to put my cell phone.  My cell phone has been many places, and I have to admit I wouldn't have guessed it would make it to the insides of my jeans.  It was interesting waiting for my son's soccer game to start while making some conversation with some soccer Mom's, when I noticed my cell phone wasn't where it should have stayed.  I hoped I played it cool and got it off my foot before anyone noticed.  The "ol-gotta tie my shoe trick" works every time...

So that's me right now in my worn out jeans....and hey, if the jeans fit...who cares.  Cool soccer Mom's wear jeans and flipflops in January.  (and it was 70 today...yay!)

I also got to thinking that Josie was Aydan's age when she started playing soccer in Arizona when we moved here in 2003.  (That gives me hope that they eventually do learn how to make a throw in and pass to each other)....and not cry so much.  Well, atleast the first part.

And all this thinking made me realize that I've probably watched over 500 games between 3 of my kids so far...and Rylan hasn't even started playing anything yet!!  Josie has collected a lot of jerseys through the years so when she turned 13, (almost 2 years ago...yikes!), I thought it would be neat to sew a quilt for her out of all of her shirts.

Truth is, I like watching my kids play, and I love that I get to be their #1 fans.  On the field and off.

And it's my hope to make each of my kids a quilt out of all their own jerseys.  (and you'd think if I could do that, then I could atleast figure out how to sew up the holes in my pockets!!)

About once or twice a year it happens...I actually get sick.  And I have to admit, I don't really like it.  The best part of it is that you get to lay in bed all day and watch some T.V.  I've been watching a lot of TLC lately and besides What Not to Wear, and Cupcake wars, I watched the finale of Sarah Palin's Alaska tonight, and I have to say, I really think she's a cool lady.  She's very optimistic,  loves adventures, outdoors, her family, and runs an hour a day.  Seriously cool...and she's a Mom before everything else.

Well I had a busy week and it was good for this Arizona Mom to seriously chill this weekend.  3 of our kids are in sports now, so that's always interesting to figure out, and the first week back to school after a Christmas break is really hard to get back into routine....and it's cold.  I sleep with 2 extra pillows to keep my feet warm, or I get up and blow dry them until they get warm again.  It works.

Earlier in the week I painted Aydan & Rylan's room, (Aydan is my one kid that gets super excited like me for room makeovers).  The dark blood-red paint had to go, and I replaced it with a nice pleasant relaxing soft blue.  (The color of Rylan's ni-ni).  My next project is to spray paint their black dressers gray, but since I was seeing stars from finishing Aydan's desk I thought it might be wise take a break.

Thursday I ran 8 miles.  It felt great and for some reason that's becoming a weekly goal of mine.  The trick is running 4 miles away, so then you have to run the 4 miles back.

Friday night we had Aydan's 8th birthday party at PeterPiper Pizza.  It is so nice to not have to worry about clean up or entertainment for a bunch of wild boys.  With 300 kids running around I'm pretty sure this is where I caught the bug that's plaguing me now.

Saturday was brutal...Aydan had an 8 a.m. game, with an arrival time of 7:30, and Lanie had her first softball game at 3...with an arrival time at 2:30....leaving at 5.  I begged Chemo to take me out that night and I think I wasn't a very fun date since I was shivering with chills and barely able to carry a conversation.

And so maybe it's true when you go, go, go, you set your immune system up for a big crash.  After the medicine kicked in, it was fun snuggling with my boys tonight while watching TV and it's nice to have both my girls hanging around too.  It was nice to slow down and really pay attention to each of them.

Rylan loves batman...can you tell?  Evidently, we have 9 of them, and he wants each and every one of them.

If Aydan isn't on Club Penguin on the computer, he's probably playing it on his DSI or on the Wii.  I have to beg him to try and play outside.

Lanie is an amazing helper.  She helped Grandpa put up the Christmas decorations in the attic today.  She's also been so sweet and helpful to me today, and is a great pitcher/first baseman/catcher on her softball team.

Josie made brownies today and loves to play Just Dance with the boys on the Wii....she has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh.  She told me she was sorry I felt sick...it's nice to feel cared about.  I love the notes she writes me from time to time...I like to hang them all up on the insides of my cabinets.

So I just love my kids.  That's it.

On New Years morning I was the first one up, (well, not really, Chemo was already at work), and before the kids even rolled out of bed, I already had the Christmas tree packed away.  If that wasn't depressing enough, the Rose parade was already over and I guessed that I was probably facing another day filled with Wii noises in the background mixed with Wow-wow-wubzy while doing more laundry and dishes....(coo-ky).  Well that obviously didn't sound too appealing, so I decided instead I was going to do whatever it took to spend the first day of the year outside. 

There's snow in Arizona, and it's only 2 hours away.  Snow.  I've been thinking of it all Christmas break, and since it was probably the last free Saturday we'd have before games filled up our weekends until July, I decided we just had to go see it...before it melted away.  The view we have of Four Peaks mountain with snow on it's, well, peaks, was proof enough for me that snow still continues to fall in the world...but I wanted to see it up close. I wanted to smell the coldness again!

There's a certain beauty to winter and snow and I miss it.  The last winter I had was back in 2003 when we still lived in Illinois, when Aydan was just a newborn baby.  One of my favorite things to do was get out and shovel a layer off the driveway every other hour or so when the snowstorms would come at night.  I can specifically remember one night being the only one outside in my neighborhood, with nothing but the moon shining on the snow.  I just stood there listening to the quiet snow falling around me...I think I was even inspired to sing a few verses of Silent Night.

As a kid, my Dad would help us make forts out of the snow, (and not the wimpy kind either...he went into serious castle making mode, a slide with stairs even), and it would entertain us for hours with my sisters and brother.  We'd play until we were soaking wet and only came back in to switch out our mittens for dry ones and then would go back out again.  Those were the days when we didn't joke around about snowsuits and scarves...and it didn't matter if your mittens matched, they just needed to keep your hands warm.  Moon boots, earmuffs and freezy-freakies came in pretty handy back then too.

So once my kids knew I was serious to take them to see real snow, we were out the door in 20 minutes.  Snow always equals wet clothes, so we were prepared with extra stuff to change into...and some DVD's for the road.  (Despicable me is hilarious by the way).

Just the drive itself to Payson is amazing and beautiful and about a half hour before you get to the town, you can start to see the snow along the highway.  Families from the valley pulled off at the first gas station to let their kids sled down the first hill they came to, but since I was determined to find something a little off the main highway, we found a park only 5 minutes into town that had perfect hills for sledding.

We had a great day and I was so glad I decided to go.  I discovered that I still miss the snow, but not so much the cold, and so it didn't feel so bad driving away from the slush.  I also forgot what it feels like to slip on the ice with cold toes.  It is also impossible to sled down a hill without smiling the whole way down. 

I'm so glad I spent the first day of the year being reminded of how much I love nature and being outside and having fun with my kids.  I also hope I will continue to find new ways to get my family out of the house to explore something new in Arizona each month...or atleast any chance we can get.