Broken eyes

3 year old boys really should be watched at all times....and it was one of those days where I was trying to get a lot of projects and errands done and thought I could do it all. While I had been in the garage staining furniture, Rylan had entertained himself with Josie's powder foundation, and went upstairs to add some of my mascara all over his arm. After cleaning all that off, the next time I checked on him he had chocolate on his lips and found out he had eaten all the mint m&m's. During our visit to the grocery store, instead of sitting inside the carshaped cart, he decided it was funner to sit on the top of it. Then, at Michaels, he disappeared on my way to the checkout lane to stare at the scary Halloween aisle. 10 minutes after attempting naptime, he decided to get up to do some jumping off of the couch and then climbed up over the stair railing. I had finally reached my limit, so I got down to eye-level with him, and instead of him listening to my reprimanding, he wanted to let me know my eyes were broken. At first I didn't know what he meant, but I noticed he was looking very, very closely, and must have noticed my blood shot eyes. I was tired, but wether he knew it or not, I did. I had been breaking the "thou shalt rest" commandment too long, and knew it was high time for a nap. The rest of the laundry, the furniture, the dishes, the rootbeer spilled on the bed, and everything else was just going to have to wait until both of our eyes stayed closed for a while.

The Big 20.


A year ago to this week I ran 20 miles. I literally woke up at 2:30 a.m. to eat breakfast then drove in my car to hide about 6 different gatorades where I knew I'd pass along my run. Unlike the actual marathon I was training to run in Chicago the next month, there were no people cheering me on, and it was just me, myself, and I. This was the day that would truly define if I'd know I could do it or not and I wanted to prove to myself I would if I put my mind to it. One of my favorite parts of training those early mornings leading up to this was that I would occasionally see a hawk high up in the sky and would remember the verse in Isaiah 40:31:
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

So about my 18th mile I was dragging, my feet hurt, and was seriously considering taking a nap in the grass on the side of the road. I needed someone to yell at me to keep moving. And just then, as if God heard my thoughts, about 50 hawks all at once flew over my head, (I learned their true species is turkey vultures but usually leave out that detail out since close up they're not all that beautiful). I had to stop at the pure beauty of it and the specialness it felt that maybe they were sent out for me, just at that moment, to remind me that God was with me 100% of the way. That moment renewed my strength to finish those last 2 miles.

So I'm thinking back to last year at all I had accomplished and now thinking ahead again to January for my next marathon I've signed myself up for. Why another marathon? My answer sometimes is because I just don't know what else I'm supposed to be doing, and running simply clears my overthinking head. And sometimes my answer is that I'm not getting any younger and need a good challenge. Always my answer is that I love to be outside early before everyone else and am hoping for another "hawk moment".

Doo-dads



I didn't know that laying on my kitchen tile floor could be so relaxing and hilarious at the same time. My kids caught a brief moment of their Mom laughing at herself uncontrollably. I say brief because in all the moments leading up to that point I was certainly not laughing....well, a few times I was. What started out as a small project turned into an extreme room makeover...and that required going through A LOT of stuff! I thought it was a genius idea to give a teenager several 3-drawer compartments to get organized, but as we unloaded we realized it was just a way that she was just "stuffing" her stuff. There were several moments of "Oh that's where I put that!" and my questioning: "what is this for?", or "where do you want to put this?", and my favorite: "I just don't know Mom". Ariel's cave of gadgets and gizmo's a plenty, and who's it's and what's it's galore just did not compare to the "treasures" we unloaded. We found a lifetime supply of glow in the dark sticky men, 10 different varieties of goofy glasses, kazoos, noisemaker things that when you turn them upside down it sounds like a dying cow, and other several items that only a 13 year old could entertain themselves for hours over. At one serious point she decided she was ready to pack up her American girl dolls and when we brought them down it appeared that they all had aged....they each had a coat of gray dust on their heads! I couldn't stop laughing with Josie as she in the middle of the chaos blowing off the dust while wearing a plastic shower cap and headband wrapped around her head. The project was making slow progress so eventually I took over while she took several ice-cream and facebook breaks. The dresser I spraypainted black for her wasn't quite dry and left a trail of black smears as I dragged it through the tile floor to her room....which was what brought me to the floor in the first place. It just felt so good to not be moving furniture or organizing for a moment. I noticed my kids were thoroughly entertaining themselves during my organization mission: Aydan was playing his 25th game of Wii, Josie was still on facebook, Lanie had a friend over, and Rylan fell asleep on his own on the couch, while ice-cream dishes were piled all over the sink. My family knows I'm a machine when it comes to cleaning or organizing and like to avoid my "GI-Jane" mode during the process, but I think it was good for them, (and myself), to have them actually hear me laugh at myself for scrubbing the floor as if my life depended on it. I should remember to laugh more often, and maybe get someone to scoop some ice cream for me too.

Couponoholic

My husband trusts me with the grocery shopping. He doesn't even ask why we have about 20 boxes of cereal stacked up on the highest shelf of the pantry, maybe 20 toothpastes and brushes under our sink, 8 boxes of scalloped potatoes, 10 random salad dressings, and 25 cans of soup in addition to the rest of the food filling up our shelves. I actually didn't realize I had issues until I couldn't make the 6 boxes of spiderman gummies fit next to the cereal boxes. How did this happen? I'm pretty sure I have an "addiction" to getting the best deals on groceries, and I have to admit that I'm pretty darn good at it. One reason for my shelves being "over-stocked" is partly due to the fact that those deals are usually when you mix and match and buy 10 of them, and then I only buy those things when they're on sale and I have coupons that can be doubled to go with them....so pretty much everything in my pantry actually only cost me about 50 cents each, and sometimes free!! We're a family of 6 living off of one income so we have to find ways to cut corners. If ever there is a food crisis in Arizona, everyone is welcome to come on over to my place so we can survive a few extra months! There are always deals to be had, so I am forcing myself this week to feed the family out of our cabinets and freezer for a while....yay for scalloped potatoes!

Uncool

Whether I was ready for it or not, it happenned....I'm there....Uncool. Days of shopping together at the mall are over, and I am no longer "allowed" to walk alongside my teenage daughter even halfway to her bustop. I do remember what it's like to be that age and dashing out of my Mom's Christmas-decorated van when getting dropped off to jr. high before anyone had a chance to recognize me. What I didn't really know then was that my "quest for peer acceptance" probably hurt my own mother as I pulled away. Mom's know how to be tough, and eventually get used to their new "boundaries of coolness". I doubt any Mom is ready for public rejection, and we'll go on patiently loving our kids anyway. Maybe it's just the first time it happens that stings the worst. We get to cheer invisibly on the sidelines for a while, and keep hoping for the miracle that someday soon we'll be "wanted" around again instead of just "needed". My daughter is growing up so fast and it often feels as though I'm being taught as a parent to learn to let her go little by little...that has to be one of the hardest things about parenting! "What goes around, comes around" eventually I guess, and for now it's my turn to be uncool for a while. I did discover a little twisted secret so far: as long as you know that you're uncool and patiently accept it, then you're actually cool again for knowing your uncool.

Goodbye crib



I've owned a piece of furniture for 13 years and I knew the time would eventually come when it would be time to say good-bye. I have 4 kids....ages 13, 10, 6, and 3. I am so thankful for each one of them and they all spent the first couple years of their lives sleeping in this crib. A part of me would love to dream about having another sweet newborn to cuddle and love, but I also remember how much work that can actually be since I've done it 4 times already. Those times I spent with each of them as babies will always be cherished, and I'll always be thankful for that blessing and opportunity. Saying good-bye to this crib was actually a way for me to close the door in that chapter of my life and a chance to refocus what's ahead for my family of 6. Right now we're already juggling 2 soccer teams, girlscouts, football, softball, potty training, teenage moods, school, church activities, playdates, batman, Wii games, reading, homework and groceries. I love that I get to be actively involved in each of their lives and interests, and that really meant I had to let the crib go. As I watched the truck that carried it away during my garage sale I thought I might change my mind and chase it down the street. Then I remembered that my oldest will have a drivers liscence in only 3 years.

Sundays.


This is the day where I'm home pretty much the entire day with all 4 of my kids. We've pretty much decided that the 9:00 church service is what works for us. We get home around 10:30 and I usually find myself in the kitchen from then on until 2 or 3, which I've recently discovered isn't such a bad place to be. We run around so much throughout the rest of the week and it's so nice to just be home and not have anything scheduled on the calendar. We rarely eat altogether as a family anymore because of all the kids different activities now, so I try to make it a priority to cook to eat at home on Sunday. Our kitchen really has become the heart of our home. Aydan and Rylan are usually the first to pass through the kitchen wondering what I'm baking, and a few minutes pass and Lanie and Josie stroll on through with the same question. Pumpkin muffins. Smiles all around. I like to see my kids eat good and feel relaxed at the table. When I slow down enough, (and hang around the kitchen long enough), I get the chance to really see my kids. They're all growing up so fast and I really need to remind myself they won't be 3, 6, 10, and 13 much longer. Atleast I have Sundays for us to slow down and reconnect.


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