Vida. Risa. Amor.

I had big plans this week.  I was going to cheerfully tackle all the things on my to-do list while being a patient, loving, and cool mom.  I was even going to make rice krispies in the shapes of stars with red-white-and blue sprinkles.  My home was going to be relaxing, yet fun, with a dash of who cares... 

And then it just got hot.  Scorching hot.  July is the month a couple of things equally rise out of control:  the outside temperatures...and my own temper.  When my Wii-crazed son wouldn't answer me after my 4th call for him to come sit down for lunch, I sort of lost it.

No matter how long we've lived in Arizona, (it's been 8 years for us now), for some reason it still surprises me when the temperatures reach triple digit proportions this time every year...as if I didn't remember this from last summer.  I would cry a river, though my tears would just evaporate.  Literally.

I'm not a native, but I have learned how to get us from our air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned van to an air-conditioned destination with military precision.  My van's AC unit is basically useless if the temperature outside is anything hotter than 103, and so I guess that means I have the next 3 months to figure out how to keep us all cool.  When I drive I lean forward so the sweat off my back doesn't soak my shirt and my cupholders are stocked with ponytail holders to keep my hair off my neck all summer.  I also keep a stash of large McDonalds cups that I refill before trips with ice-cubes that I balance on my lap.  (They also comes in handy to toss at whiny children).  I try to never leave the house without drinks for the kids, and since their cupholders don't get used much this season, (they better not dare leave crayons in them), my kids hold whatever they can to keep cool.

When we're on the road, and I see that I have to wait at an intersection that has a shady spot 20 feet away from the stop line, I will wait there until the light turns green.  Go ahead and honk, I'm not moving, because finding shade is like finding treasure.  A rockstar spot is now the space that offers shade, even if it means we are 300 feet away from where we have to walk to.  And in the case that the entire parking lot only offers one tree and only two of the branches are offering shade in the "Associate of the Month's spot, I'll still take whatever I can get.  (Those signs should be abbreviated anyway).  Because, what really matters the most, is that my van will obviously be 50 degrees cooler to come back to.  My car shades are almost ripped to shreds, but until they are replaced, they will continue their purpose in life...("cooler van=cooler Mom"...kind of goes along the lines of "happy wife=happy life").

Yesterday, I had a garage sale, painted the bathroom, and made a meal for a family, (and the kids).  Garage sales are awesome in Arizona:  they start at 6:30 and end at 9:30 and I usually always make more than $100.  What I realized about painting a bathroom is that it is mostly trimwork....little awkward angles, and tackling precise corners that require hovering your face below the toilet at an insane angle as to not paint the baseboard or touch the back of the toilet with your paint brush.  Pretty.  I really just wanted to take a roller to the wall and be done with it.  I was equally drenched in paint and sweat.  Surprisingly, the kids really knew not to let me hear them argue. 

I'll admit after a big day like yesterday I feel a little sluggish and tired.  So, today, we aren't going anywhere, and it's supposedly going to reach 118.  Pools feel like bathwater anyway in this heat and the farthest I want to drive is to the mailbox.  It's easy to tell it's July at our house when the main 4 are on:  Wii, TV, & Facebook, and the delicious smells coming from a crockpot.

I just heard the 5th fudgesicle wrapper being unwrapped downstairs...I better grab one before they're all gone. 

Cool Mom = Cool Home.  Less=More.

It's been awhile since I'd blogged.  School has ended, family vacation has come and gone, we've been t-p'd already, and summer has officially arrived with it's first 107 degree heat.  The kids & I are back in our gym routine, and it's been interesting since we now have 2 gyms we go to...(I just couldn't pass up $20 for 3 months at a gym where my "preschool-mom" crowd are all going this summer).  My kids prefer Lifetime Fitness, where there's an indoor playground of all playgrounds and a pool with waterslides to play in after.  But I like the other gym for the classes, since it's easier to endure thigh burning lunges, 5 minute ab ripping planks, and combat kicks with friends you can laugh & suffer through with together.  There's also something about going back to a gym that made me realize I wasn't in that great of shape I thought I was in....and so, I will be a "gym-rat-junkie" until I can master a 5 minute plank.  I just will.

Vacation was wonderful:  7 days in a row of the the beach and pool.  We also came home "rich" in sand dollars, and I have to admit I was getting a little greedy for them.  I have even hid them from my kids until I figure out a crafty way to display them.  They are "my precioussssssss"....

I do need to backtrack and mention that getting to our vacation destination...wasn't exactly pleasant.  I have a recurring nightmare actually, (not kidding), and it usually involves me at an airplane ticket counter searching and searching for my family's passports and they are no where to be found, and so we are somehow doomed to be stuck in an airport forever.  I never realized this was a prophecy of a similar reality someday to come.  It takes me a couple of days to pack for vacation, (I still pack for 4 out of 6 of us: me and the 3 dudes), and so I like to think through all that needs to be taken:  medicines, underwear, waterbottles, tweezers, foods for breakfast/ lunch/& dinners/snacks, and all the other obvious things to bring to a beach.  And so, when I asked the night before to my lovely husband if he could get his passport papers ready, I assumed he actually heard me.  (He did grunt some sort of reply).

After two hours into our trip to Mexico, the exit just as you enter Gila Bend, was when my husband and I actually had the conversation if his passport was packed or not.  He said he didn't.  I said are you kidding.  He said no.  I said no really, are you kidding.  He said no.  And I said awesome.  (No actually I said a lot more than that).  And so we turned around and headed back to the house to get the man's passport.  I had to explain to my crying 5 year old why we couldn't just get his Dad "another credit card", as he thought that's what we were going back for.  Josie's announcement of "it was all a simple misunderstanding", was the understatement of the week.  Year.  (I think she was secretly happy she had a few more hours left on her cell phone before we'd be out of range for a "whole week" once we crossed the border)....which she also drowned later that week in the ocean.  Tragic.

Making an 8 hour trip out of a 4 1/2 hour drive will definately go down in Palacios Family Vacation memories forever.  Oh yeah, and it will definately never happen again.  It's might be a while for us to be able to mention the word passport without thinking of it as a curse word.

I thought I'd cry.  Get choked up.  Sniffle.  Anything.  But nope, not a tear was shed today.

Except when I drove by a parked SUV with balloons and "Congratulations Grad!...Class of 2011" graffittied all over it.  I realized my daughter will be graduating high school in 3 years.  Three.  Class of 2014.

But back to Rylan.  Preschool Graduation:  2011. 
Highschool Graduation:  2023.

I woke up to his feet kicking my ribs this morning.  I thought we were done with this chapter in life, but evidently he still has bad dreams.  Rylan is adorable when he sleeps, and I cringe to have to wake him up for school because he wakes up like a bear.  There is much "growling", crying, and arguing over what is going to be worn to school.  Today he ordered me to call his teacher because he was convinced he was supposed to wear a graduation gown and cap.  You know what's grumpier than a baby bear?  His mama who hasn't had caffeine yet.  Or food.  grrrrr.

I'm supposed to say how cute my boy was in his graduation, (he was), and how memorable today was, (not really), and since I don't know how to cutesify this morning into words, I'm just going to tell it like it was for a paragraph.  Usually it's amusing to watch little kids perform their little songs, and though they are completely adorable to watch, (for 10 minutes),  Rylan looked a little spaced.  I tried to capture a hand clap, or a thumbs up, or a smile, but it was slim picking in his singing performances.  Tiny people chairs are uncomfortable to sit in...for an hour, and the two little one year old siblings running circles around the class during their song time, (one is standing next to him in this picture), made me want to tackle the parents for not controlling them.  I know I have very large issues, but that was something I seriously had to get off my chest.  That, and preschool rooms make me want to organize and clean something.


Sigh.  My baby just graduated from preschool today, and summer has finally arrived.  Our last first day of Kindergarten is only 3 months away, but the countdown to our beach vacation is only 9 days away.  I might cry about it tommorrow, but for now all I can think about is Destination:  Relaxation.

I liked this quote I heard recently:

What did I do today?  hmmm.....sometimes I actually draw a huge blank.  I don't always actually remember.   A few days ago I was asked the same question from the pedicure guy and I had the same "blanked out" moment.  I wonder how he would have responded if I had told him that I had spent the first part of the morning curling my daughters hair for her Greek costume, spent an hour clearing out Chemo's car "space" in the garage of  a bunch of garage sale junk because I decided I really didn't want to have a garage sale after all, went to see my daughter's 6th grade class "world fair" and her display of the country Greece, bought strawberries for my 5 year old that was begging to have a strawberry shake with his turkey sandwich for his lunch, cleaned out all our toilets, and then spent an hour on my firm fanny lifter cranking out squats and lunges.  Instead I just said, "oh well, not much," and went back to flipping through my stack of magazines.

"Not much".  What if my answer truly was, not much?  What would that look like?

Luke 15:10:  In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of angels of God over one sinner who repents.

After I was done praying with Aydan tonight, I got to tell him that angels were having a party singing in heaven just for him...because today, April 21, 2011, he decided to ask Jesus into his heart. 

Explaining the story of Easter and who God is in a way my kids can understand hasn't exactly been easy.  Just like I did, they have so many questions...Who is Jesus?  Who is God?  Why can't we see them?  Why is there a bad guy named Satan?  Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?  Are we going to die like Jesus?  So Jesus defeats the bad guy named Satan?  How?  What does it mean he wants to live in my heart?  If he's alive where is he?  How do we get to heaven....no really, how exactly?  Where is heaven?   Did God really make everything?  Does God really love me?  Why do we need to be saved?  What do we need to be saved from? 

I'll admit I don't know how to eloquently answer all these questions, and when I can't, I do my best to try to search for answers in God's word.  What I do hope, is that each of my kids will come to understand that God loves them more than their own mother could....that He would lay down his life on a cross for them...and that He Lives.  And that they would choose to believe in Him.

I am thankful to God for entrusting me with these children, and I hope I'm doing my best by them.  This month has thrown quite a few parenting challenges my way as usual, but I was thankful to be able to share that prayer with Aydan tonight.  (Another cool fact is that it was also his Papa Chemo's birthday tonight; Aydan's middle name is Anselmo who he is named after).

When Aydan was born into this world he arrived only 20 minutes after we getting to the hospital, January 7, 2003.  I literally crawled on the freezing sidewalk in front of the hospital from my Isuzu Trooper to the emergency room, until Chemo could find a wheelchair for me because I was in so much pain.  After they rushed us to the delivery room, the nurses begged me to try to wait for the doctor to arrive.  (The chance for an epidural was not an option, and so of course I was furious...especially since he was over 10 pounds!)  This boy was in a hurry to show up for some reason, but I truly felt God's presence with us that night, and out of some deep instinct I started praying the Lords prayer only minutes before he was born.

He is my first boy and he'll always have a special place in my heart.  He has such an excitement for life, a great sense of humor, and a tender little heart.  He's got a lot of little ideas brewing in his little 8 year old head, and I just hope I'll always have the energy to keep up with him....even if I have to crawl to keep up.

It's probably not a coincidence that I put Hasta La Vista on the back of his football jersey this season.

I've had one thing on my mind all day today, and now it's time I just face the facts:  It is just no longer a possiblity to "suck in", my arms continue to say hello after I'm all done waving, the capris I bought for myself last summer haven't shrunk, and "muffins" are not cute. 
At all.

My suspicions were confirmed a few weeks ago when I made an "appearance" on the scale in the ladies locker room at the gym last week.  Three pounds heavier than last summer.  What in the world.

Here's my week in a tiny microscopic nutshell:  I have run over 15 miles, hiked up a mountain for 3 hours, finished a Firm weight workout twice, moved seventy-five 10 pound bricks from eyelevel on a shelf in Home Depot...to the back of my van...to my parent's backyard....to help make a raised garden bed...which also required shoveling and  moving 10 wheelbarrels full of dirt.  (I seriously LOVE outdoor projects by the way, and secretly wish I was a professional landscaper).  Weeded my backyard and found time to make a mini brick patio in the front of my own house...(thanks to my bro for all the free bricks).  Still made dinners & dishes & laundry, still got the kids to practices & school & church groups, and yet STILL after all this physical activity, no pound has decided to melt off of my body.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit discouraged.  And tired.  Of course I am thankful my body can function and do amazing things, yet the reality is I'm not getting any younger. Or skinnier.  Why if I want to eat Peanut M&M's do they have to stick to me??  I don't like that losing weight usually requires to eat less and work out more.  Ugh.  It's downright exhausting, if not depressing.

And yet, that's what half of the Mom's I know, just know.  No Pain, No Gain.  When I saw a Mom pushing through the rain with her baby in her stroller just to get out and jog last week, I felt I could relate.  Been there.  We do just about anything to squeeze in time for our workouts.  We want to look good.  We want to be healthy.  And we'll jog in the rain if it helps us get there.

I like working out and I like to eat.  Let me rephrase, I like feeling healthy and strong, and I also like to enjoy food....(my favorite food to eat is the kind someone else makes for me).  So sometimes I workout so that I can eat.  And drink.  And it is quite possible that this is the scenario that is secretly backfiring on me, and at this point I pretty much know something needs to change.  So if that somehow requires portion control and giving up on chocolate and carbs for a while, then so be it.  Sigh.

In the movie Eat, Pray and Love, Julia Roberts went out and bought herself "big girl pants".  (Dumb movie anyway).  All I really want is to fit into the jeans I own now...maybe make them a little baggy on me if I'm being completely honest.

Bring on the early morning jogs again.

When I was a kid growing up in Illinois there used to be plenty of weeks, (months), of rainy, wet days that I'd basically have to figure out what to do for the afternoon.  One of my favorite things to do was cozy with a bunch of blankets on the couch and pop in my favorite video and eat a whole bowl of popcorn all by myself.  (It's a "Stamm" thing).

So today in Arizona we are facing an entire Saturday of rain.  Rain is always rare in the desert so we're supposed to enjoy every drop we get, but today it's actually cold enough that snow is sticking to the top of Superstition Mountains again.  Brrr.  I know I will be dreaming of days like this in July when it's 115...but for now, I'm just enjoying the coziness of being trapped inside the house with the kids today.  Since their games have been cancelled, we're going to fill up the whole day with couch lounging, movie watching, popcorn munching, and cookie baking.  (Quite the nice contrast to last Saturday that involved 6 games...in 90 degree temperatures).

When I found Swiss Family Robinson at the library, I had a little "flash from the past" moment, but I knew it would be a great movie to watch with my boys.  They seem to have a lot in common with the youngest boy in that family, Francis...always finding adventure in trouble....(too bad they didn't give him a better name though).  I wasn't sure if the movie was too dated or not, but the boys seemed to get completely mesmerized in the story.  Funny how I still remember most of the lines, and that cute little tiger they trapped in a pit in the ground to scare the pirates away.

Later on this weekend I'll probably find a romantic comedy to enjoy with Lanie, and stay up late with Josie to watch another action thriller...and the boys have been begging to watch Tron. Again.

So movies will probably always be a big part of my family's life, and it's just one way it brings us together once in ahile.  We had the surround system blasting so loud the Fed Ex guy ringing our doorbell couldn't be heard.

Rain, rain, you don't have to go away...
I'll jog off my popcorn and shakes tommorrow anyway.