Vida. Risa. Amor.

Luke 15:10:  In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of angels of God over one sinner who repents.

After I was done praying with Aydan tonight, I got to tell him that angels were having a party singing in heaven just for him...because today, April 21, 2011, he decided to ask Jesus into his heart. 

Explaining the story of Easter and who God is in a way my kids can understand hasn't exactly been easy.  Just like I did, they have so many questions...Who is Jesus?  Who is God?  Why can't we see them?  Why is there a bad guy named Satan?  Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?  Are we going to die like Jesus?  So Jesus defeats the bad guy named Satan?  How?  What does it mean he wants to live in my heart?  If he's alive where is he?  How do we get to heaven....no really, how exactly?  Where is heaven?   Did God really make everything?  Does God really love me?  Why do we need to be saved?  What do we need to be saved from? 

I'll admit I don't know how to eloquently answer all these questions, and when I can't, I do my best to try to search for answers in God's word.  What I do hope, is that each of my kids will come to understand that God loves them more than their own mother could....that He would lay down his life on a cross for them...and that He Lives.  And that they would choose to believe in Him.

I am thankful to God for entrusting me with these children, and I hope I'm doing my best by them.  This month has thrown quite a few parenting challenges my way as usual, but I was thankful to be able to share that prayer with Aydan tonight.  (Another cool fact is that it was also his Papa Chemo's birthday tonight; Aydan's middle name is Anselmo who he is named after).

When Aydan was born into this world he arrived only 20 minutes after we getting to the hospital, January 7, 2003.  I literally crawled on the freezing sidewalk in front of the hospital from my Isuzu Trooper to the emergency room, until Chemo could find a wheelchair for me because I was in so much pain.  After they rushed us to the delivery room, the nurses begged me to try to wait for the doctor to arrive.  (The chance for an epidural was not an option, and so of course I was furious...especially since he was over 10 pounds!)  This boy was in a hurry to show up for some reason, but I truly felt God's presence with us that night, and out of some deep instinct I started praying the Lords prayer only minutes before he was born.

He is my first boy and he'll always have a special place in my heart.  He has such an excitement for life, a great sense of humor, and a tender little heart.  He's got a lot of little ideas brewing in his little 8 year old head, and I just hope I'll always have the energy to keep up with him....even if I have to crawl to keep up.

It's probably not a coincidence that I put Hasta La Vista on the back of his football jersey this season.

I've had one thing on my mind all day today, and now it's time I just face the facts:  It is just no longer a possiblity to "suck in", my arms continue to say hello after I'm all done waving, the capris I bought for myself last summer haven't shrunk, and "muffins" are not cute. 
At all.

My suspicions were confirmed a few weeks ago when I made an "appearance" on the scale in the ladies locker room at the gym last week.  Three pounds heavier than last summer.  What in the world.

Here's my week in a tiny microscopic nutshell:  I have run over 15 miles, hiked up a mountain for 3 hours, finished a Firm weight workout twice, moved seventy-five 10 pound bricks from eyelevel on a shelf in Home Depot...to the back of my van...to my parent's backyard....to help make a raised garden bed...which also required shoveling and  moving 10 wheelbarrels full of dirt.  (I seriously LOVE outdoor projects by the way, and secretly wish I was a professional landscaper).  Weeded my backyard and found time to make a mini brick patio in the front of my own house...(thanks to my bro for all the free bricks).  Still made dinners & dishes & laundry, still got the kids to practices & school & church groups, and yet STILL after all this physical activity, no pound has decided to melt off of my body.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit discouraged.  And tired.  Of course I am thankful my body can function and do amazing things, yet the reality is I'm not getting any younger. Or skinnier.  Why if I want to eat Peanut M&M's do they have to stick to me??  I don't like that losing weight usually requires to eat less and work out more.  Ugh.  It's downright exhausting, if not depressing.

And yet, that's what half of the Mom's I know, just know.  No Pain, No Gain.  When I saw a Mom pushing through the rain with her baby in her stroller just to get out and jog last week, I felt I could relate.  Been there.  We do just about anything to squeeze in time for our workouts.  We want to look good.  We want to be healthy.  And we'll jog in the rain if it helps us get there.

I like working out and I like to eat.  Let me rephrase, I like feeling healthy and strong, and I also like to enjoy food....(my favorite food to eat is the kind someone else makes for me).  So sometimes I workout so that I can eat.  And drink.  And it is quite possible that this is the scenario that is secretly backfiring on me, and at this point I pretty much know something needs to change.  So if that somehow requires portion control and giving up on chocolate and carbs for a while, then so be it.  Sigh.

In the movie Eat, Pray and Love, Julia Roberts went out and bought herself "big girl pants".  (Dumb movie anyway).  All I really want is to fit into the jeans I own now...maybe make them a little baggy on me if I'm being completely honest.

Bring on the early morning jogs again.

When I was a kid growing up in Illinois there used to be plenty of weeks, (months), of rainy, wet days that I'd basically have to figure out what to do for the afternoon.  One of my favorite things to do was cozy with a bunch of blankets on the couch and pop in my favorite video and eat a whole bowl of popcorn all by myself.  (It's a "Stamm" thing).

So today in Arizona we are facing an entire Saturday of rain.  Rain is always rare in the desert so we're supposed to enjoy every drop we get, but today it's actually cold enough that snow is sticking to the top of Superstition Mountains again.  Brrr.  I know I will be dreaming of days like this in July when it's 115...but for now, I'm just enjoying the coziness of being trapped inside the house with the kids today.  Since their games have been cancelled, we're going to fill up the whole day with couch lounging, movie watching, popcorn munching, and cookie baking.  (Quite the nice contrast to last Saturday that involved 6 games...in 90 degree temperatures).

When I found Swiss Family Robinson at the library, I had a little "flash from the past" moment, but I knew it would be a great movie to watch with my boys.  They seem to have a lot in common with the youngest boy in that family, Francis...always finding adventure in trouble....(too bad they didn't give him a better name though).  I wasn't sure if the movie was too dated or not, but the boys seemed to get completely mesmerized in the story.  Funny how I still remember most of the lines, and that cute little tiger they trapped in a pit in the ground to scare the pirates away.

Later on this weekend I'll probably find a romantic comedy to enjoy with Lanie, and stay up late with Josie to watch another action thriller...and the boys have been begging to watch Tron. Again.

So movies will probably always be a big part of my family's life, and it's just one way it brings us together once in ahile.  We had the surround system blasting so loud the Fed Ex guy ringing our doorbell couldn't be heard.

Rain, rain, you don't have to go away...
I'll jog off my popcorn and shakes tommorrow anyway.