Vida. Risa. Amor.

I think God granted me my Christmas wish of "quiet" around mile 6 of my 12 mile jog this morning as the battery of my mp3 player died. So with no music, I needed any distraction so I decided to figure out what I'd write about in my next blog. The idea actually came to me last night on Christmas as we were all snuggled up watching a movie together. Chemo had Josie wrapped up in a cozy bear hug with their heads on my lap as we were reminiscing what our first Christmas with her was like 13 years ago...

It was our first trip to Mexico. I cannot verbally tell this story with out crying, and I'm sure I'll require tissues in writing it down. I think I was only 22 at the time, and Chemo and I had just gotten married the month before Christmas. Chemo's Mom was very sick and his sisters were urging him to come to his family's home in Mexico as fast as he could get there. Somehow our travel plans got mixed up and we had to stay in a hotel by the airport so we could travel the next morning...through middle of the night phone calls Chemo knew things were getting worse.

When we arrived in Mexico City we were picked up by Chemo's uncle and maybe 8 other family members that would all be traveling in the same vehicle for 5 hours to his home town in Ciudad Hidalgo. I was nursing Josie at the time so privacy was limited to the front seat between his uncle and Chemo. After the hussle of getting out of the airport I hadn't had a chance to use the bathroom so I was offered to find a bush maybe 20 feet off of the road. The sun was in our eyes for most of the 5 hour drive through through the hills and crowded towns and driving behind semi-trucks and buses made the air smell of diesel fuel. After about 3 hours of driving and a real bathroom stop, (though the toilets have no lids and you have to bring your own toilet paper), my newly introduced niece informed me of some devastating news. I understood enough spanish to learn that Chemo's Mom had passed away in the night and that they weren't going to tell Chemo until he got home and they wanted me to not say anything. I was faced with a sad reality that I was never going to meet my mother-in-law, and she wasn't going to be able to meet her grand-daughter named after her, and my husband, her 8th "baby" son, was going to be heart broken for not being able to say good-bye.

The moment we drove on the street of his mother's home, they stopped the car and told Chemo what had happenned. My heart broke for him in a thousand pieces as he tore out of the car calling out for his Mom trying to get in the house through the crowd of people that were gathered there. I almost started walking down the street since I didn't exactly know where to go, but a man who I recognized should be Chemo's brother greeted me and Josie with a hug and gestured for us to come inside.

It wasn't very often that a "gringa" came to town and I think I attracted a lot of curious attention. Introductions were eventually made and I was greeted by each and every one of my nieces and nephews and sisters and brother-in-laws with sweet kisses on my cheeks. Out of respect I never laid my eyes on my mother-in-law as I didn't want to remember her that way. I was thankful that I had been able to talk to her the day after we married. Though the days were filled with funeral preparations and catholic prayers and endless friends, family, and neighbors in the home, it was still Christmas and Chemo's sisters made a huge effort to make sure that wasn't overlooked. They loved our baby Josephina and there were never an empty set of arms to hold her.

13 years later, our baby girl halfway grown up, it was a sweet sight to see her wrapped up snugly in her Daddy's arms on the night of Christmas. When she sleeps, her long eyelashes still fall on her cheeks so beautifully.

...the best gifts for Christmas are when you're spending time with the ones you love.

I can't write. GI Joe is playing on our new blue-ray DVD while my boys take turns jumping off the coffee table to the couch. My mind is and has been on overload. I've been second guessing myself all day with issues with my kids. How much texting is too much for a 13 year old? Do we have enough milk to last for the next two days? Do I spend enough time with them? Are some of these PG13 movies corrupting their minds? Should I sit and practice reading with Aydan instead of letting him play another game of Wii? Did I tell them I love them lately? I've been to CVS, the gas station, Walmart twice, ordered a birthday bouncy thing online, to Safeway, The Elephant Bar with the kids to visit Chemo, the mall, dropped the kids back home, and then back out again to deliver a meal to a good friend. Why am I out in the chaotic stores two days before Christmas? I'd rather be sipping hot chocolate and looking out my window at a backyard filled with snow. Simpler times. I'm waiting for that "Christmas spirit" to sink in any time now. If only I could just be still and have quiet for a few minutes...

I love the moments after a chaotic experience when you can finally sit around and laugh with everyone involved and reanalyze the craziness that had happened. The other day I was out with 3 good friends who refer ourselves as "the preschool mom's", (since we all met a few years ago during the time our now 1st graders were in preschool together...and we joke that our kids will be teenagers together someday, and we'll still call each other the preschool mom's). So I was out with these 3 fun people to see New Moon since it was 2 of them which recommended that I read the Twilight books in the first place, (best book suggestion ever!!) After about 20 minutes into the movie I got a panicky phone call from Josie. I was only on the phone for a few seconds and I thought she was telling me that Rylan was choking and couldn't breathe...so she quickly hung up as she told me she was calling 911. As I'm left stunned in the hallway of the theater with my heart pounding out of my chest thinking Rylan couldn't breathe and not being able to breathe much myself, I knew I had to get home. I needed to move, run, scream...but my brain came back on, and I asked to borrow my friends keys and tried to drive as calmly as a Mom of a choking 3 year old could possibly go. Of course it was the day that every snow bird in Arizona was driving in front of me with shoppers from the mall chatting in the middle of the parking lot. After my 90th call back to home on my cell phone, a fireman answered and told me not to worry or speed, and that it was just that my son had a bead up his nose.

He was breathing. He. had. a. bead. stuck. up. his. nose.
Thank you firemen. Thank you God.

So I didn't have to speed like a maniac for the last 2 miles home and when I finally got home my son was sitting on the couch with a plastic fireman hat on, clutching a home-made teddy bear they gave him, surrounded by probably 10 very tall & good-looking firemen staring at him along with my daughter and her friends, my Mom and some neighbors. With all 55 of us waiting in my living room for that bead to get out, and a few suggestions of using tweezers, I tried to bribe him with his sippy cup of milk and blue ni-ni and after a couple of brave blows it finally came out. My teenage daughter and her 2 friends were so relieved, and the fireman were able to go back to work. Before they left, they let the kids check out their truck and asked what Rylan was going to name his bear, so I suggested we name him Bead, which gave us all a good laugh.

I guess it's pretty likely that most kids eventually stick something up their nose, and it's better that it wasn't a cinnamon red tic tac like I had done at that age, (which burned!) Looking back I'm thankful for a lot: That Josie called for help and had friends over for support, that I have Mom friends that have been there and can help me laugh about our kids, that there are goodlooking firemen...I mean that fireman come to our rescue quickly, that I had makeup on and cleaned my house that morning, that I had already seen New Moon twice already, that I got a chance to drive a super awesome car and didn't crash under the circumstances, and that Rylan is fine and wasn't in a worse situation that I don't even want to imagine.

Oh yeah, and the beads are well out of reach and hidden now.