Vida. Risa. Amor.

I had big plans this week.  I was going to cheerfully tackle all the things on my to-do list while being a patient, loving, and cool mom.  I was even going to make rice krispies in the shapes of stars with red-white-and blue sprinkles.  My home was going to be relaxing, yet fun, with a dash of who cares... 

And then it just got hot.  Scorching hot.  July is the month a couple of things equally rise out of control:  the outside temperatures...and my own temper.  When my Wii-crazed son wouldn't answer me after my 4th call for him to come sit down for lunch, I sort of lost it.

No matter how long we've lived in Arizona, (it's been 8 years for us now), for some reason it still surprises me when the temperatures reach triple digit proportions this time every year...as if I didn't remember this from last summer.  I would cry a river, though my tears would just evaporate.  Literally.

I'm not a native, but I have learned how to get us from our air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned van to an air-conditioned destination with military precision.  My van's AC unit is basically useless if the temperature outside is anything hotter than 103, and so I guess that means I have the next 3 months to figure out how to keep us all cool.  When I drive I lean forward so the sweat off my back doesn't soak my shirt and my cupholders are stocked with ponytail holders to keep my hair off my neck all summer.  I also keep a stash of large McDonalds cups that I refill before trips with ice-cubes that I balance on my lap.  (They also comes in handy to toss at whiny children).  I try to never leave the house without drinks for the kids, and since their cupholders don't get used much this season, (they better not dare leave crayons in them), my kids hold whatever they can to keep cool.

When we're on the road, and I see that I have to wait at an intersection that has a shady spot 20 feet away from the stop line, I will wait there until the light turns green.  Go ahead and honk, I'm not moving, because finding shade is like finding treasure.  A rockstar spot is now the space that offers shade, even if it means we are 300 feet away from where we have to walk to.  And in the case that the entire parking lot only offers one tree and only two of the branches are offering shade in the "Associate of the Month's spot, I'll still take whatever I can get.  (Those signs should be abbreviated anyway).  Because, what really matters the most, is that my van will obviously be 50 degrees cooler to come back to.  My car shades are almost ripped to shreds, but until they are replaced, they will continue their purpose in life...("cooler van=cooler Mom"...kind of goes along the lines of "happy wife=happy life").

Yesterday, I had a garage sale, painted the bathroom, and made a meal for a family, (and the kids).  Garage sales are awesome in Arizona:  they start at 6:30 and end at 9:30 and I usually always make more than $100.  What I realized about painting a bathroom is that it is mostly trimwork....little awkward angles, and tackling precise corners that require hovering your face below the toilet at an insane angle as to not paint the baseboard or touch the back of the toilet with your paint brush.  Pretty.  I really just wanted to take a roller to the wall and be done with it.  I was equally drenched in paint and sweat.  Surprisingly, the kids really knew not to let me hear them argue. 

I'll admit after a big day like yesterday I feel a little sluggish and tired.  So, today, we aren't going anywhere, and it's supposedly going to reach 118.  Pools feel like bathwater anyway in this heat and the farthest I want to drive is to the mailbox.  It's easy to tell it's July at our house when the main 4 are on:  Wii, TV, & Facebook, and the delicious smells coming from a crockpot.

I just heard the 5th fudgesicle wrapper being unwrapped downstairs...I better grab one before they're all gone. 

Cool Mom = Cool Home.  Less=More.