Strength

Well it's 5:56 a.m. and I just can't go back to sleep.  I've been tossing and turning in my bed for about an hour ever since my husband kissed me goodbye somewhere around 4:45 when he set off for work.  My head has been pounding for a few days now, but for other reason's besides my headcold, I was left with a huge awareness of the amount of responsibility we both carry right now.  I am really bad at telling him, but I am so thankful for his faithfulness to continue to work long hours at the restaurant he works at to provide for our family.  He's so good at what he does too.  On New Years Eve, he made it home from his 11 hour shift at 11:47 p.m. just in time to find us all in the driveway around the firepit with our neighbors and fireworks to bring in the New Year.  According to Rylan I need to remember to buy more sparklers for next year.

2011 seemed to be a year of brief "hello's", and quick "good-bye's"...soccer, football, and softball.  And to be honest, that followed us right into 2012.  Maybe because it's now 6:37 a.m., and I'm still trying to figure out my thoughts, I'm feeling a little anxious about today.  It's only day two of 2012, and like most people are doing, this is the time of year to make resolutions to improve the parts of our lives that need improving and reflect on the things needing change.

I don't know that I can change a whole lot actually.  Our activities and schedules have already filled up the new calender, but I guess if I were to set a goal, or prayer, it would be for Strength...with a capital S.  To develop more endurance and energy, and to remember to stay strong for my family:  physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

I looked up and saw another one of my "Isaiah" hawks gliding in the sky yesterday.  God finds little ways to remind me he's still with me.  Always.  Guess I should just look up more often.

Endless.

Tape.  Every home needs some, and to this day I don't really understand why I can't seem to ever own a pack with the handy little jagged edge that helps rip off strips for you.  I can never seem to remember to grab a pack at the store, so I am forced to spend 10 minutes of my days searching for it's "invisible to the naked-eye" edge and make lame attempts to carefully peel it up evenly to make a smooth tear.  Never happens.  Ever. 

It's a boring story actually, but every time I find myself staring at my edgeless roll of tape, it seems to be the metaphor of my life.  My patience is lost, I wonder if it's best to give up, and the end seems nowhere in sight.

Maybe that's too deep to compare myself to a roll of tape, but it somehow made sense in my mind and I'm going "stick" with it...  (hehe).

I realize my family's activities this season sounds ridiculous to most people.  Soccer.  Football.  Club softball. Club soccer.  Highschool Varsity soccer.  Jr.High softball.  All in one week.  An average of 5-7 practices a week, and 3-4 games on Saturdays.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit it makes a Mom tired.  Proud.  But tired.


I don't always know if this was the lifestyle I imagined for our family.  It's just a season and I know the "end" of it is coming eventually.  My kids seem happy with what they're involved in, and we're happy to watch them.

So, just for now, I know I won't know who the biggest loser is, or the next dancing star, or what's really pinteresting.  Piles of socks will always be turned inside out in the laundry and grass and chunks of dirt will forever be ground into my van's carpet.  I have a "Little Caesar" to thank for feeding us so often too...

Guess I'll keep "rolling" with it all for now.

I hope I can remember that when it comes to
whatever is next for my kids futures,
that by God's grace,
...the possibilities are endless.

Sports-"Fanatic"

I wish I could be able to see my breath this time of year...and that if I breathed in, my boogers would freeze.  It's October, and it's still 100 degrees.  Supposedly it's going to cool down, (if you consider 90's cooler), and with Halloween around the corner we all sure hope for it.  I think the heat is starting to get to me a little more this season since I spend most of Saturday in the sunshine on a field.

So I signed up all 4 of my kids for sports this season.  It seemed like a fun idea at the time...and it is.  I think. Well, for the most part, anyway.  (I may have both sentence and thought finishing issues because of this).
Yep.  I am starting to feel insane, and have even gotten the vibe that other's are secretly starting to agree.  I'll even admit I come close to hyperventalating every Friday night when I look at my kids schedule for games for Saturday, (which is when I plan out who's driving who to where and when).  Not to mention, we, (I), already have been to and from 6 or 8 practices during the week as well.  But after all the schedules get figured out, when Saturday comes, there's really no other place I'd rather be than under my shade in my lopsided lawnchair, with my cherry coke zero in hand, getting ready to watch my kids play. 

When it comes to cheering, I really don't consider myself "hard core".  And wow, there are definately a lot of those kind of parents out there.  I promised myself I will never shout: "Man up!" every two seconds like some football Dads do, or spit endless bags of sunflower seeds while shouting "Come on, you can do better than that!" like I've heard some softball parents do, or a be a "swear at the ref" kind of soccer fan.  Sheesh.  Like the kids don't already know when they made a mistake, and I'm sure they don't need their parents announcing their disappointments.  When it comes to game day, I don't ever expect perfection from my kids, but just that they were trying their best.  Winning isn't everything, but competitiveness and the drive to play a game well will always run in my blood....but the love for my kids comes before any of that.

This is Rylan's first year playing any kind of sport at all, and since we're mainly a "soccer" family, (we also have every size of hand-me-down soccer cleat available), so what better sport than to give him a try at soccer.  (The game day fields are literally in our neighborhood as well).  At this age, his Blue Raiders team plays games on a mini field with mini goals with 4 mini kids playing at a time.  It's adorable.  There are no goalies, so it's fun to watch them score a goal.  His "mad ninja ball kicking skills" have scored him two goals so far!

Aydan has played several seasons on his Cardinal's football team, (he'd know the exact amount...I lost track), and still plays with most of his buddies from school.  Something "clicked" in his little brain this year, in that he learned as soon as that whistle blows, he charges for the flag.  (Like a bull, hence, the name, "El Toro"). I'm second guessing my plan of "bribing" him for a dollar a flag because I think we're up to $18 for just 3 games already.  I'm so proud of him.

Lanie has been playing for her East Valley Pride softball team for about 2 months now.  This team is everything Lanie ever dreamed of for a softball team, except for maybe the part of underestimating the time commitment it requires.  Every other weekend there are 3 games in a row to go to in Casa Grande, (that's a 9 hour day),  occasional Tuesday & Thursday double header games, (expect to be there about 4 1/2 hours each night), and every Friday night from 6-8:30 is batting practice.  That's a lot of softball for our 12 year old, and her taxi driver. She's mostly playing outfield for now, and it's so much fun to watch her hit and steal bases.  I can tell she's hoping to make a homerun soon, and I want to make sure I'm there when she does.  I have three goals as a softball Mom:  learn how to take down stats, how chew sunflower seeds, and build up game watching endurance.

Josie is on her 4th season with her Barcelona soccer team.  Sigh.  Let's just say, her team isn't doing so well this season.  All losses...two ties.  At the beginning of the season, about 5 of their forwards transferred to different club teams, and the newer members of the team play only defence.  Well, kind of.  So...long story short, when you can't score, you kind of can't win.  Josie is counting the days away from highschool soccer tryouts, and can't wait to play on a team with some girls who aren't afraid to finish and play on a more competitive level.  It's been a difficult season for her, but she's learning what it means to have to try to keep a winning attitude on a losing team.  I love watching her play.  She's got some amazing talent....

All my kids do.  It just must be in their blood.  ;)

Labor Day Weekend.

It's Labor day today and I can honestly say I'm not sure what to do with this holiday.  I work part time during the week as a teacher's aide, (of a highschool nursing class), so I understand the concept of looking forward to a three day weekend a little more now.  I am usually incapable of taking a "day off" anyway so looking back on my three day weekend I did exactly what I usually like to do:  got a bunch of stuff done.  (I assumed I was supposed to labor anyway).

Lanie made a club softball team a week ago, so until she has games she has practices both on Friday night and Saturday mornings.  There was a lot of time spent in my lawnchair in that dusty dirt dugout with a watered down diet coke, so as soon as we got back home I decided to disappear in the front yard with my leaf blower.  I didn't seem to notice it was 110 again, and I am still under the impression my neighbors think I am insane...(well, atleast they can see I like to keep my yard clean).

Sunday was the only day this week where we had abso-freaking-lutely NADA on the calendar scheduled to do.  I should have done exactly that:  nothing...but as I have mentioned before, I have serious issues of pulling that kind of day off.  Instead, I had the genius plan that it might be fun to take myself and the kids up for a daytrip to Sedona.  With all our phones, DSI's, and the portable DVD player packed, we had pretty much everything to make the 2 1/2 hour drive pretty bearable.  What I didn't plan for was the extra hour the last 13 miles was going to take to actually arrive to Sedona, because it seemed that half of everyone in Phoenix had the same idea as we did.  I also didn't realize the temperatures were going to be the same 103 degrees as the valley area, and that I should have had cash instead of a credit card to park to go hiking.  The lot where we wanted to hike was full anyway, so our place in line was going to be farther back if I had to drive the 20 miles back to an ATM to get cash and come back, so we checked out the stores and bought Ikea meatball-sized scoops of icecream for $3 each instead. 

What made this trip worth it for my kids was when we stopped in the Los Abrigados Resort near Tlaquepaque where they played minigolf at the park with a creek behind it all to splash around in....(nice that it was free.)  What made the drive worth it for me was the smell of the leaves and listening to the sound of the running water at the creek while being shaded under the huge trees.  I love nature and hope my kids grow up loving it too.  As an extra bonus a little nature rock found it's mark on the windshield on the drive home.

Today, besides laundry and grocery shopping, I decided I wasn't quite finished with being outside so I conquered more yardwork.  I was in a mood to trim my backyard trees, so with country music blasting, and standing on the last rung of my extension ladder, I found a way to slice those wicked palm fronds off.  (By the way, those branches have no mercy on you if you accidently scrape your arm along the edge.)  I also realized my mesquite tree was looking pretty shabby and one power-saw tool later I had about 3 wrist thick heavy branches successfully sawed off.  I also got mesquite sawdust up my nose and in my eyes.  I sat in the kiddy pool for about an hour after that.  Yep, still not sure what my neighbors or my kids think of me some days.

I admit I like projects and yardwork, but I love more the bits and pieces in a weekend that allow me to catch up with my kids and just be around them.  Maybe the hope to create a memory in Sedona was more spent in the moments during the drive, and I loved that I had all 4 of them to myself.  I'll take as much of them as I can get.

This was the last unscheduled weekend before the games begin, and it's going to be interesting to see how we're going to juggle all four of them in sports this season....
They sure are fun to watch though.

One Complete Week

Before I knew blogs existed, in my college days in the early 90's,  I used to write down memory filled and busy weeks in incomplete sentences.  I eventually threw those piles of memories away as I think some things back from those times might be better left unsaid. 

19 years later,  my brain occasionally doesn't seem to want to function in complete sentences, so this choppy sentence style is going to be given another chance.  Hopefully I might grab a memory or two of this very busy week, (season).  So here's what's been up:

Sophomore Jaguar
Jr. High Rattler
3rd grade and Kindergarden Bulldogs.

Job hunting.  Resume building.  Reference searching.
Website browsing, facebook stalking, email checking.

Softball tryouts: Friday, Tuesday, Saturday, Sunday:
Birth Certificate copies, 20 page tryout packets, fund raising.
Back to school signatures, school supplies, forms, forms, forms.
Homework helping, checking, signing.
Club meeting, soccer tryouts, football meeting.
Reservations, scrimmages, tournaments.

112 degrees.
Lightning storms.
5 minute rain shower.
Humidity = sweaty kids.

Coupon cutting, ad checking, saving 65%.
Fry's, Albertsons, CVS. Pantry organizing.
Dish loading, garbage dumping, bed making,
Laundry sorting, washing, drying, sorting, washing, drying, sorting.....

6:30 a.m. Drivers Ed.,
7:30 grumpy boys wakeup,
breakfasts, make lunches, tie shoes.
8:10 drop off.
8:12 clean, clean, vacuum, vacuum.
3:15 back home....hungry kids.

Fashion disasters, clothes donating, shopping.
Weight lifting, treadmill sprinting, ipod charging.
Spray painting, garage organizing, car cleaning.
Goodwill hunting, Target browsing, IKEA meatballs.

Ornament making.
Yes really.

Desk building, furniture rearranging, new laptop.
Checklists, messages, voicemail.
Blog writing, blog deleting, blog blech.

Grandma makes us food. 
She's Mrs. Incredible.
Grandpa helps with softball.
He's Mr. Incredible.

Texting, texting, texting,
texting, texting, texting,
texting, texting, sore hand.

Driving, driving, driving,
driving, driving, driving,
driving, driving, need gas.

Too tired to watch movies.
Too hot to be outside.
Too busy to slow down.

Too much for one week.






Milestones

"Runaway Train"...never goin back.., (by Tom Petty), was the song that was playing in my shiny red car the day I drove away from home when I left for college.  The rain and my tears were both pouring out in buckets that gray day back in January of 1993, but I was determined that it was a road I needed to travel alone.  (Judson college was only a 28 minute drive away, but for an 18 year old that never left home, it felt like I was relocating to the other side of the country).  I do remember that my parents lovingly offered to help me get settled in, but I stubbornly refused because I was determined to face the biggest milestone of my life:  independence.

Before I transfered to Judson, I was taking courses at a community college to become an executive secretary...which I did very well at & enjoyed.  At the time, I misunderstood the importance of earning an actual education or degree & transferred from that community college to a 4 year private school in hopes to live "the college experience".  I was basically known at Judson as another "transfer student" until I made new friends after joining the girls softball team, (even though we didn't win a single game).  A better scholarship offer came the summer after Judson, and the savings was a no brainer, so I decided to transfer again to Liberty University in Virginia, (which was literally the other side of the country this time).  I completed one year and possibly 2 1/2 months when I realized my camping weekends were turning into camping weeks and that college wasn't really something I was committed to anymore.

To this day I am still a little confused as to what I hoped to accomplish with my "college" days.  I remember the day I flippantly walked away from what was most likely the best scholarship offer available.  I remember those camping days with friends as some of the most adventurous days of my life.  I remember heartbreak, being broke, Jimi Hendrix, ramen noodles, and my awesome blue truck.

I remember that leaving college brought me right back to my best friend....and we've been together ever since.

I am thinking back on those days a lot lately, mostly because as of August 10th, all 4 of my children will be in school full time.  (No, I will not be listening to any Tom Petty songs or anything that has to do with saying "goodbye" or "letting go").  One will be in highschool, one in jr. high, one in 3rd grade, and one more last-first-time-kindergardener.  (I have seriously stocked up on tissues).

So yeah, I have a lot of regrets of choices I have made in my past, but I also realize part of life is learning from those mistakes.  I did actually complete 2 & 1/4 years of college, though an actual Bachelors degree would come in handy about now...(I have thoughts to revisit that option soon).

My "resume" reads that I am always going to be on duty 24/7, but this is a new season where I realize I am mostly needed from 6:15am to 8:15am, and from 3:15pm to practices to bedtime and weekends. So yeah, that's still a lot of time that I'm "needed", but I realize that I have a huge 6 - 7 hour time gap from 8:16 am to 3:14 pm, Monday through Friday, that I seriously need to figure out what to do with myself.

I might take some of my friends advice and cut myself some slack and just go ahead and enjoy the freedom a little.  But I'm not sure I will be home as much during those hours, the silence might scare me...otherwise the radio will be blasting.

Milestones have a funny way of sneaking up...ready or not, and I needed to hear these words that I recently read from a friend's post on facebook today:

When one door of happiness closes, another opens...
But often we look so long a the closed door that we do not see
the one that has been opened for us.
-Hellen Keller

Rising "Temps"...

I had big plans this week.  I was going to cheerfully tackle all the things on my to-do list while being a patient, loving, and cool mom.  I was even going to make rice krispies in the shapes of stars with red-white-and blue sprinkles.  My home was going to be relaxing, yet fun, with a dash of who cares... 

And then it just got hot.  Scorching hot.  July is the month a couple of things equally rise out of control:  the outside temperatures...and my own temper.  When my Wii-crazed son wouldn't answer me after my 4th call for him to come sit down for lunch, I sort of lost it.

No matter how long we've lived in Arizona, (it's been 8 years for us now), for some reason it still surprises me when the temperatures reach triple digit proportions this time every year...as if I didn't remember this from last summer.  I would cry a river, though my tears would just evaporate.  Literally.

I'm not a native, but I have learned how to get us from our air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned van to an air-conditioned destination with military precision.  My van's AC unit is basically useless if the temperature outside is anything hotter than 103, and so I guess that means I have the next 3 months to figure out how to keep us all cool.  When I drive I lean forward so the sweat off my back doesn't soak my shirt and my cupholders are stocked with ponytail holders to keep my hair off my neck all summer.  I also keep a stash of large McDonalds cups that I refill before trips with ice-cubes that I balance on my lap.  (They also comes in handy to toss at whiny children).  I try to never leave the house without drinks for the kids, and since their cupholders don't get used much this season, (they better not dare leave crayons in them), my kids hold whatever they can to keep cool.

When we're on the road, and I see that I have to wait at an intersection that has a shady spot 20 feet away from the stop line, I will wait there until the light turns green.  Go ahead and honk, I'm not moving, because finding shade is like finding treasure.  A rockstar spot is now the space that offers shade, even if it means we are 300 feet away from where we have to walk to.  And in the case that the entire parking lot only offers one tree and only two of the branches are offering shade in the "Associate of the Month's spot, I'll still take whatever I can get.  (Those signs should be abbreviated anyway).  Because, what really matters the most, is that my van will obviously be 50 degrees cooler to come back to.  My car shades are almost ripped to shreds, but until they are replaced, they will continue their purpose in life...("cooler van=cooler Mom"...kind of goes along the lines of "happy wife=happy life").

Yesterday, I had a garage sale, painted the bathroom, and made a meal for a family, (and the kids).  Garage sales are awesome in Arizona:  they start at 6:30 and end at 9:30 and I usually always make more than $100.  What I realized about painting a bathroom is that it is mostly trimwork....little awkward angles, and tackling precise corners that require hovering your face below the toilet at an insane angle as to not paint the baseboard or touch the back of the toilet with your paint brush.  Pretty.  I really just wanted to take a roller to the wall and be done with it.  I was equally drenched in paint and sweat.  Surprisingly, the kids really knew not to let me hear them argue. 

I'll admit after a big day like yesterday I feel a little sluggish and tired.  So, today, we aren't going anywhere, and it's supposedly going to reach 118.  Pools feel like bathwater anyway in this heat and the farthest I want to drive is to the mailbox.  It's easy to tell it's July at our house when the main 4 are on:  Wii, TV, & Facebook, and the delicious smells coming from a crockpot.

I just heard the 5th fudgesicle wrapper being unwrapped downstairs...I better grab one before they're all gone. 

Cool Mom = Cool Home.  Less=More.


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